Flogging The Dead Donkey: Sue Turton’s Malaysian Whipping Boys
WHO’D be Denis Norden?
When does a TV outtake stop being funny and enter in the area of abuse?
We speak, of course, of Chanel 4 news presenter Sue Turton and the incident involving her backside.
Rufus Burdett, married and aged 37, has been charged with causing a public order offence. It is said that Mr Burdett did approach Turton from the rear and goose her.
Ms Turton’s reaction can be read here. She argues that the goosing demeans the victims of the floods. It is beyond parody.
Says Mr Burdett: “I don’t go around pinching girls’ bums all the time but I thought it was a way of throwing a spanner in the work’s for a few minutes.
“I thought it would brighten up the situation.”
A straw poll of the Anorak typing pool suggests a divided nation. One half senses the spirit of the Blitz and how Burdett is keeping hope afloat in dire times. The other half wants Burdett flogged to within an inch of his life and then keel-hauled through the drowned streets of Oxford.
For a sample of what Burdett might expect the Mail looks at life for goosers and drug dealers in Malaysia.
Readers are treated to the sight of man secured to the whipping tree. Mail readers may thrill to such a scene but it is not meant to be recreational. This is punishment.
The dispenser of justice arrives brandishing a rotan stick – a bamboo-like cane. He delivers 20 blows to the prisoner’s bare buttocks. The Mail records the images. They are raw and bloody.
The Malaysian authorities have posted the video on the internet. The Mail tells readers where the video can be located.
Anorak took up the offer. It is not safe for viewing at work and may necessitate going into darkened cellar or dungeon area.
M Burdett should worry. Flogging is not too good for the likes of him…
Posted: 2nd, August 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- Terry on X Factor Live: Jedward Do Jive Bunny, Olly Murs Is The Man And Danyl Johnson Is Careless
- Shelley on I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price To Marry ‘Dumped’ Alex Reid In Jungle
- Anorak on Madeleine McCann And The Wanted ‘James Bond’ Spy
- scotfree on Madeleine McCann And The Wanted ‘James Bond’ Spy
- June on Oxford Man Parks By Downing Street And Has Car Blown Up
August 6th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Actually Suki, he should have been expecting it. It’s what people do out here in the midwest. And, I might add, he was a lot bigger than me.
Should I have congradulated him?
I’m an English ex-pat by the way, and dont normally go around hitting people.
If Suki is a womans name wherever you’re from, would you want to be out with a man who would stand passively by while someone groped you?
Maybe you would.
August 2nd, 2007 at 6:51 pm
#David Says:
“A few years ago my wife, a nice looking woman, was groped in a restaraunt by a drunk. I saw this and punched him in the face , as you are expected to do here.”
Brilliant! I bet he wasn’t expecting that. And drunk you say, so presumably not so able to defend himself. Well as we all know there’s no finer test of manhood than exhibiting the ability to punch in the face people who are not expecting it and who are unable to defend themselves. Nicely done sir
“The wife was impressed too. :)”
Good God.
Your American morality renders you quite the walking conundrum. You may say that in respect of the dastardly Rufus that “you have to admire his spirit”, but on the other hand, had you been there, you’d have punched him in the face. I’ve a feeling it may have been you attracting all the headlines. Off to the whipping post with you!
But, in all fairness, you probably couldn’t help it. Rather like, one might observe, a drunk man pinching the bottom of an attractive woman.
Personally I’m only in favour of goosing, punching and spanking for ‘recreational’ purposes; I expect there’s a club in London where you can get all of that, in that order, for a reasonable fee. Probably advertised in the Daily Mail.
August 2nd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Had the gender roles been reversed in this state of affairs, then the matter would have failed to make the news, let alone any atention from the boys in blue……
August 2nd, 2007 at 1:35 pm
While I’m not actually in favor of randomly going around pinching the bums of women, you have to admire his spirit on one level and be amazed that he would actually do that on camera in politically correct Britain.
Since, from what I gather from reading English newspapers on the internet, you can now be hung drawn and quartered for just raising your voice to your children in public he must have known he was risking a punishment of medieval proportions. No doubt massive police and judicial resources, at huge expense, will be bought to bare in punishing this fiend to the maximum.
Maybe he was delirious from lack of clean drinking water, maybe not.
Maybe he could just apologise to her, she could vent her anger at him and everyone goes home happy, but it’s never that simple anymore is it?
On the other hand, there is the American way. A few years ago my wife, a nice looking woman, was groped in a restaraunt by a drunk. I saw this and punched him in the face , as you are expected to do her. Well, it’s what John Wayne would have done. The drunk was dragged out, the police called, and he was arrested. When they had him in the car a cop came in and asked me what happened, so I told him. “He groped your wife right in front of you?” he said in amazement. “Yes,” I replied. “Then he got what he deserved,” he said. And that was that. I dread to think of the endless legal crap I would have got into in New Labours Britain, it would probably still be going through the courts and the drunk would probably sue me for infringing his ‘human right’ to grope whoever he wanted.
Not bad for a old hippy, John Wayne would have been proud!
The wife was impressed too.
August 2nd, 2007 at 11:35 am
[...] Big Brother (Anorak)Who will make the most money after Big Brother? Loading … WHO?D be Denis Norden? When does a TV outtake stop being funny and enter in the area of abuse? [...]