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Blondes Pass A-Levels In Record Numbers: A-Grade Melanie Slade

by | 17th, August 2007

blondes.jpgTHIS season’s A-level results are in and the papers can confirm that – yes! – blonde girls have passed the tests in record numbers.

The first blonde is Mel Slade, formerly known as Melanie Slade and still known as the lover to Arsenal’s wonderkid Theo Walcott.

Mel completed an A-level in “critical thinking” last year. She tells the Mirror: “I did find them really hard and I had a lot of distractions over the last two years so I’m really pleased.”

Mel has B grades in psychology and maths and a C in biology. Some figures, readers. Phwoar!

And Mel is not alone. The Mail shows two blonde pupils from Withington Girls School, Manchester, embracing as they realise school is over and they a can enter the real world of adult education and student debt. Hurrah!

Good news for gingers too, as the Mail says Princess Beatrice has achieved an A in drama and Bs in history and film studies.

But blondes lead the way.

And the Times features blonde twins on its front page. It’s not Samanda from Big Brother, but Jenny and Lisa Pickett.

The 18-year-old blonde twins took their A-levels and passed. Lisa, a pupil at Brighton College, scored two Bs and an A. Sadly, this in not enough for her to study English at Nottingham University.

Her twin sister Jenny (school unspecified), scored two As and a B, which was enough to secure her a place to study Spanish at the University of Exeter.

They are the Times’ front-page new – “The twins and the grade A problem.”

Lisa says she is “immensely disappointed… I don’t understand why my marks in English were low when all I have scored is A in English throughout the A-level course.”

Or course, Lisa should realise that an A-grade is now the least a student can expect.

And she should realise that there is more to life than study. There is fun. And blondes do have more fun. Stay blonde, Lisa. Stay blonde, Jenny.

The rest of us can only try our best…



Posted: 17th, August 2007 | In: Broadsheets Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink