Desperate Dwarf Dan Blackner’s Little Fella Gets Hoovered Up
MEET “dopey dwarf” Dan Blackner. And Henry.
Dan and Henry are close. Both feature in the act Captain Dan, The Demon Dwarf. You can catch the show at Edinburgh’s Circus of Horrors.
But not tonight. Because tonight Dan is in the recovery position after a rehearsal for his act went badly awry.
Dan’s act involves him inserting his penis into the vacuum cleaner (Henry) and towing it about the stage.
We join the action as Dan is making his preparations. Dan notices a crack in Henry’s pipe. He repairs it with glue. Strong glue. And after 20 seconds, Dan inserts his penis and discovers that he can become at one with his act. Not since the halcyon days of Leonard, aka Legless Lenny, a teddy boy of 31 years standing has a performer been so in harmony with his ‘puppet’. (Lenny raised money by sitting astride an upturned aeroplane propeller attached to an engine. Once strapped on, he would spin to the sound Danny & The Juniors.)
Dan contacts his manger Dr Haze, who drives him to hospital. Says Dan: “It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. When I was wheeled into a packed A&E with a Hoover attached to my willy I just wished the ground would swallow me up.”
Whoah! First things first, Dan. Start with the Hoover and work your way up. Little steps…
Posted: 21st, August 2007 | In: Strange But True Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
