Mitt Romney Supporter Senator Larry Craig’s Toilet Two-Step
IT could happen to anyone. You enter a public toilet. You see a closed toilet stall door. Is it occupied? Or has someone thoughtfully pulled the door behind them? You peek through the crack. Nope. It’s busy. You’ll take the stall next door.
As you sit down you remember a tune that was playing on the car stereo in the morning. You tap your foot a few times. And in your reverie your foot slips and brushes the shoe of the person in the neighboring stall.
An innocent chain of events.
But not to the undercover cop attached to the shoe in the adjoining stall. Police Sgt. Dave Karsnia nabs you for soliciting sex in a men’s room at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. You! Senator Larry Craig. A 62-year-old Republican with a wife and a conservative reputation that includes opposition to gay marriage.
You’re innocent of course. 100 percent innocent. But we don’t want this little incident to muddy your career – or the presidential ambitions of Mitt Romney, on whose campaign you are currently working.
So you plead guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct – without admitting any form of homosexual activity, note – and next thing you know, the whole world seems to think you’re gay.
Obviously, you made a big mistake. Not the toilet incident, that wasn’t a mistake. Oh no. That was a misunderstanding blown out of all proportion by the fascist cop. The mistake was pleading guilty.
“I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct,” Senator Craig told the world in a statement released Monday. “In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously.”
And look what a mess you’re in now. You can handle the one year of probation and $575 in fines and fees. But the media vultures are circling.
They seem to be enjoying the quote that Sgt Karsnia gave them when, after your arrest, you allegedly handed him your Senate ID and said: “What do you think about that?”
And they’re dredging up those baseless gay rumors from the past, like the website which claimed last year that you were a homosexual or the rumors from the early 1980s that you were implicated in a sex scandal involving congressional pages.
Next time you’re caught short in a public place, you’ll wait until you get home. Your own home..
Posted: 28th, August 2007 | In: Reviews Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink
