Arctic Monkeys Take Piss Out Of England XI And McClaren’s Marvels

“BET YOU LOT PEED ON DANCE FLOOR!” shrieks the Sun, whose equally bizarre subheading reads: “Arctic fans flood cricket pitch.”

The paper reports the England’s cricketers were “knocked for six” by the smell of their pitch yesterday after 100,000 arctic Monkeys fans had “used it as a giant LOO”.

The Monkeys’ Old Trafford concerts had left the outfield flooded with urine, and “England stars like Kevin Pietersen and Monty Panesar were puzzled by the whiff as they slid about on the grass during England’s thrilling three-wicket victory over India yesterday”.

Presumably England stars who are unlike Pietersen and Panesar were perfectly at home ankle-deep in old piss.

The story is a neat reversal of the usual relationship between England matches and stadium concerts.

Usually it is the music fans at who turn up their noses at the unmistakably pungent aroma that lingers on the pitch long after the latest performance by McClaren’s Marvels.

Anorak

Posted: 31st, August 2007 | In: Back pages Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink