A Posh Do: Big Brother’s Wedding Of The Year
“BIG Brother stars Chanelle & Ziggy’s Posh Wedding.”
No time to waste. Fame’s clock counts down not up, ending not with the sound of detonating hopes and smashed dreams but silence as the phone stops ringing and a muffled yawn.
The minutes are ticking by and here are Ziggy and Chanelle tying the knot.
OK! is there to see all. It invites us inside their “DREAM CASTLE WEDDING”.
Ziggy is dressed as all OK! grooms must be in white, how one imagines the Pillsbury Doughboy would dress for his big day in court.
To his right sits Chanelle. Like her idol Victoria Beckham, Chanelle is sat on a throne. It might be the very throne Her Poshness sat upon.
Inside the castle and Ziggy and Chanelle are sharing an intimate moment. He is pushing his nose into her right eye. She is looking enraptured.
Then they are in the garden, reprising the moment when Day-vid dressed in Little Jimmy Osmond’s cast offs and went down on both knees.
Chanelle then puts on a tiara that seems to be made from the wire from atop the champagne cork.
They cut a cake with a sword. The blade looks rusty. As do the couple who though sat by an altar, and Ziggy is reading a prayer book, fail to actually marry.
And we realise that what we are watching is not the wedding of Chanelle and Ziggy but a visual echo from Posh and Becks’ prototype do.
And now the couple are crossing a bridge in New York…
Posted: 5th, September 2007 | In: OK! Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
