Britney Spears: The Doctor Is In
THE story so far: Britney Spears has lost her children, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Now read on…
Dr Miriam Stoppard is considering the Britney Spears issue in the Mirror. She is the paper’s agony aunt, and what is Spears’s life but one of abject agony.
Dr Miriam says Los Angeles Judge Scott Gordon is not an “ass” and found in favour of the children’s father, one K-Ferret.
“Nevertheless,” says the doctor, “one quakes” for the boys. She notes that K-Ferret and Spears are “reprobate parents”. Britney is “drug-sodden”. She is “weak, self-deluded and wholly irresponsible, dangerously so”.
Dr Miriam must leave it there to go and open her postbag. A girl’s boyfriend has been calling gay chat phone lines and a woman wonders why her child’s eczema seems to get better if the mother is enjoying herself, even if she’s not with her.
And while Miriam’s duty calls, the Star watches Britney slope off. After losing her two sons, Britney heads to the Bel-Air beauty salon for a fake baking. She wears a short white skirt that barely covers her bum, or ass, as Dr Miriam might call it.
The Star says: “Mum Brit is in freefall.”
And in the Sun, Britney’s aunt Chanda McGovern says: “We are very worried that things are going to spiral out of control…we are worried about suicidal tendencies in her.”
Dr Miriam is not around just now. But we, acting as her receptionist, urge Britney to wait…
Posted: 3rd, October 2007 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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October 4th, 2007 at 6:47 am
kate mccann, of course.
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Who is the new Britney?
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:50 pm
(8) The ass bit doesn’t count, as the lady wasn’t calling her fat…once again, not the best clothing choice.
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Good luck, Anorak!
Every celebrity faces criticism, whether it is valid or not. She seems to be on a rollercoaster, hopefully her family will help (as I can’t see anyone else effectively helping).
I am happy there wasn’t anything said about her body in the article (unless I’m illiterate, which is always a possibility….I’ll ignore the comic, as I could be blind as well…be on the lookout for my charity box at your local gas/petrol station). She isn’t fat, that was just a really bad outfit. I do recall Moderation’s comment about a leopard swimsuit (Diana, other thread), is Britney pregnant?!
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:45 pm
i spose it might depend if there are beads on said strings. with cosmic numbers gouged into them perhaps.
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Anorak, would wife number one (aka Madonna~Bathsheba) still pull the strings?
October 3rd, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Old Mr Anorak would like it on the record that he would make her Wife No. 7
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:20 pm
I am not a fan of her pop but gee this child ./woman needs the sturdy support of a real group of friends..everyone in her life form\family to ex hubby to staff are all in the destroy her mode for the money they make.The ex has never shown any interest in any of his 4 kids ,his life has been living off her money spent in gambling dens boozing and whoring around. What does a woman like BS know of normal life having been shoved into fame/fortune when a mere child. I feel so sorry for this kid. I wish someone decent would come to her rescue .Everyone in UK says ” Oh Poor Amy Winehouse” … then goes off to slag off Britney. No wonder she fells isolated alienated and is on self destruct mode.The callousness of public and press in just so vile
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:41 pm
It sounds like sour grapes as far as the British Press goes. How dare a poor girl from Louisiana jump up and become rich and famous. You make fun of her body, her problems, everything. She had 2 kids and a husband who no doubt has used and exploited her and bled her dry of money. The “drugs” that you speak of probably started from legit doctors for postpartem depression. You love to rip American celebs apart and kick them when they’re down. Stick to your own.
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:39 pm
The former head of the Britsh forces in Iraq? Surely not…
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Those kids would be better off with Michael Jackson