
Twenty Steps To Not Being Fat: Porkers Banned From Going Upstairs
“MY 20 tips to stop your child being obese,” says “Slimline” Sally McDonnell in the Mirror.
She should have made it 20 Steps, thus encouraging the fat to place one foot before the other and move forward in a motion known to millions as “walking”.
But let’s start small. Little steps. And Sally’s top tip is when you come in from school not to have crisps and chocolate. “Have fruit or some rice cakes with a spread like Marmite.”
Tip two is to limit the amount of crisps and snacks; Step 3: buy smaller crisps and snakes; Step 4: eat healthy food (ie not crisps and snacks)…
And so it goes. Until Sally falls upon the novelty called moving.
At no point does Sally decide that being obese is OK and those Americans in the mid-West and a couple of Tonga’s First XV reserves have got it right.
But being fat is wrong. And over in the Sun, readers are met by the headline: “Hospital fatty bar.”
“Fat patients have been banned from a first-floor hospital waiting room – because bosses fear that they could collapse the building.”
It has been decreed that any patient weighing in excess of 30 stone remain on the ground floor of Ealing Hospital, London.
And should under no circumstance should they walk up the stairs, aka the steps…
Posted: 16th, October 2007 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments





October 17th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
My mates family were real fat, I went for dinner once and you just would not believe the amount of food put in front of me. No wonder they were as fat as fuck.
I remember seeing images of the jews in the Nazi concentration camps, they were all skinny as hell, there wasn’t the odd fat bloke among them blaming his glands.
Eat more calories than you burn each day and simple mathematics suggests that you will put weight on. Fat greedy bastards.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:43 am
I want them to explode and cover everything in gore - preferably Al.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Can you be too thin?
October 17th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Why not just make the main entrance smaller and be done with it