A Gay Spell: Harry Potter’s Mentor Dumbledore Exposed
NEWS that Harry Potter’s mentor Dumbledore is gay has sent shockwaves through adult literacy classes across the land. That the fictional headmaster of fictional school of fictional nerds is homosexual made our blood run cold and then boil.
We wondered how long it would be before a real headmaster at a real school was outted by a writer in a copycat incident. Would headmasters now turn gay to be trendy?
And now we learn of Paul Croft. Mr Croft is pictured in the Sun exposing his flesh to readers. Mr Paul is not a headmaster. He exposes only his back.
Mr Croft is not gay, although you may think he is. And on his back is a 2ft tattoo of the pink wand, Dumbledore. And - shock of shocks – the image is supported by the names of Mr Croft’s five children.
The Sun says Mr Croft is now the “butt” of jokes about his sexuality. “It’s been terrible,” says he. “I’ve always liked Dumbledore - just not in that way.” At work, things are hard. “The were wisecracks [no pun intended] about ‘Watch your backs, lads. Someone asked me if I was planning to get a tattoo of Graham Norton. I thought, ‘Why me?’” Well, maybe it was because you got a tattoo of a children’s character on your back, Mr Croft.
Next time, we advise children’s book enthusiasts to stick to a more savoury image, like Captain Pugwash, Willy Wonka or The Very Hungry Caterpiller…
Posted: 24th, October 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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February 1st, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Yeah, because he got that tattoo because of Dumbledore’s sexual orientation in the first place. It’s a childrens’ tale, you twats.
May 27th, 2008 at 10:14 am
oh my god.. from witch century are you guys!? how could this be a big deal? grow up and open your fucking minds.
[satire, kristin, satire. - This is a satirical news site - dr]
November 24th, 2007 at 12:06 am
I couldn’t understand some parts of this article A Gay Spell: Harry Potter’s Mentor Dumbledore Exposed, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
i am a totally and completelly devoted harry potter fan, and dubledore is one of my favorite characters… so i feel that i must say… nothing is wrong wit Dumbledore being gay… i find it actually intreguing(sp?). I say this from experience… being gay is not bad, it is not a disease, it is NOT a cult! now for all you people who are reading this and are like “wtf man?” i’ll explain my reasonings. most of my friends are bisexual or full out gay/lesbian. and even though i am almost completely sure that i’m straight(ok i’m bi curious)… i myself am in GSA (gay straight allience) at my high school. and i have to say, i get the weirdest looks and the worst comments. people act as if being gay means that you could cause their ultimate demise. when its really not. this is why i’m in GSA, we are trying to spread the knowledge that being gay/lesbian/bisexual/transexual is OK and for coming out of the closet you should not be shunned and threatened. and yes i know i’m ranting just a lil bit. this just hits a soft spot here.
i’ve been researching this topic for school and for my own personal interest and i must say. peoples reactions are appauling! making fun of dubledore… calling him names… wondering if real headmasters will come out about their sexuality… it sickens me. people get over your selves!
so what if he is gay?! he is still the same character millions of kids and adults look up to and admire!
deal with the fact that he is gay in your own way.
just DON’T think that just because he is gay that he can’t still be your favorite character.
and DON’T EVER think that being gay is a disease and should be frowned upon.
we’re creating another holocausts here people! this is how it all starts!
do we really need to start that?
October 26th, 2007 at 2:10 am
HE IS NOT!!!!!!!!! IT IS JUST IMPOSSIBLE
October 25th, 2007 at 9:23 am
” oh bugger”
October 25th, 2007 at 7:08 am
If I was him I would consider getting a Santa conversion! *sigh*
October 24th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
By the way my arch enemies name is Kimberly Dunsbergen and she is a total beotch. So if u have guys have any comments reply back.
October 24th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
That is just too funny. My arch enemy loves Harry Potter and so do I but the thing that is funny she loves the gay guy isn’t that funny or what.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
lol, “Why me?” (I know, I’m a terrible person to laugh…)
October 24th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
oh deary
October 24th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
“Oh dear”, oh “dear” oh