First They Came For The Bacon…
“SAVE OUR BACON,” screams the Sun’s foremost page. “Storm as butties branded killers.”
Might it all be a murky al-Qaeda plot to see off all infidel bacon eaters? An EU-led plot to kill of
Britain’s pig trade? Or, as reported, does bacon give you cancer?
Each attack on the Sun’s beloved butty is more sensational than the last, and it takes celebrity chef, and former Oompah Lopmpah, Anthony Worrall Thompson to a make sense of it.
It’s “just another scare”, says Wozza. “They test mice and rats and they force feed them and they get cancer.” ‘They’ give our bacon to vermin? ‘They’ make us eat salad?! What madness? Who are this ‘They’?
“We don’t force feed ourselves,” says Wozza. “There’s nothing wrong with eating bacon sarnies one a week.”
Indeed, dear reader, it appears that Wozza might be one of “They”, what with his nonsense about once a week, his dog-whistle message to the unconverted?
“Bacon is fine – as long as it’s an occasional treat,” says the Sun’s Doctor Carol Cooper.
Pig farmer Stewart Houston says bacon is a tasty food and should be enjoyed “in moderation”.
Anorak is minded of the closing scene in the film Shivers when the last man alive is trapped and all around are “They” who seek to make him one of “Them”.
But we will not yield. We should resist. Bacon for now! Bacon for breakfast! And bacon for tea!
Forward with bacon!
Posted: 1st, November 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink
