Martina Hingis Supports New York Marathon Joggers

NEWS that Martina Hingis, the Swiss Miss tennis sensation of yesteryear, has tested positive for cocaine comes before the Times’ news of marathon runners in New York.

Runners have been banned from listening to musical devices while running. Out are iPods and Walkmans. Also out are Old Mr Anorak’s plans – he had intended to run with an oversized stacking system perched on his shoulder. Had he only been running for charity, we would tremble at the fall out.

But there is whiff of defiance among the sweat and liniment. “I am going to wear mine,” says one runner. “I have never run without headphones,” says another. “It just helps me.”

Clear evidence that headphones are performance enhancing. The joggers will either have to resort to more conventional and dare it go unsaid professional forms of athletic support (drugs, steroids and lying) or else develop a real or imagined drugs history and tell all and sundry about the mental time they had.

In Anorak’s experience, stories of drug-induced larks last many hours and the race will fly by. (See Pete Doherty’s London Marahton-Bender 2006-2007.)

Alternatively, joggers could invite Mss Hingis along as a running partner and invite her to explain her innocence in three hours 50 minutes or less…

PICTURE: CAPTION IT…

Anorak

Posted: 2nd, November 2007 | In: Back pages Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink