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Fore Play: Sex Addicts Get More Exercise Than Golfers

by | 13th, November 2007

golfers.jpg“SEX is the second most popular exercise in Britain – after walking,” claims the Daily Mirror.

A strange claim, not least because we didn’t realize that sex had now been re-categorized as “exercise” – presumably in a bit by the government to rid it of any unhelpful connotations of pleasure or fun.

This possibly sheds some light on a story in today’s Daily Telegraph, which says that old people have been branded “leeches” by no less a publication than The Golf Club Secretary Newsletter.

Their complaint is that old persons, who pay reduced rates, are living longer, and playing more golf (“Two or three times a week”, to be precise). This is clogging up the courses, and preventing younger members (who pay higher subscriptions) unable to play.

This situation can only get worse.

Let’s assume that, for exercise purposes, golf is counted under the rubric of “walking”. This means that when these perky pensioners aren’t leeching on the golf course, they are at it like rabbits in the bedroom. Sooner or later, something has to give, and presumably the sex will go before the golf. Whereupon we can expect to see the formerly lecherous leeches on the golf course every day.

Free Viagra for all pensioners or a thousand new golf courses by 2020?

Let’s have an electric-blanket-heated debate!



Posted: 13th, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids Comments (8) | TrackBack | Permalink