The Smell Of Success: Inhaling Jordan, Britney And Kate Moss

“JORDAN SCENTS XMAS VICTORY,” says the Star. “Top 10 Celeb Pongs.”

According to official figures, Stunning by Katie Price is the top celebrity bottled smell. Each morning a team of parfumiers scrape Jordan’s bedding and dispense the contents into a two nipple-shaped jugs. It is then passed through a sieve.

Boasting top notes of orange blossom, orange tango and orange Opal Fruits, laid over a bed of warm hammock with base notes of damp horse and acorn, this tart and heady concoction demands respect.

Jordan’s smell outsells Curious by Britney Spears, Kate Moss by Kate Moss, Kelly Brook by Kelly Brook and Intimately his ‘n’ hers by the Beckhams.

These are the smells previously known only to the people closest to the celebrities, now made available to one and all.

The key difference is that the purchased smell is only borrowed and will last only until your next wash, whereas David Beckham really does smell of the “intense freshness and sparkle of bergamot, tangy grapefruit zest and zingy cardamom” overlaid by “a virile blend of nutmeg and star anise” and “finishing down with warm sensual undertones of sandalwood, patchouli and amber”.

And knowing Jordan is to fall head first into a bowl of mandarins…

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Anorak

Posted: 17th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink