Stuffing The Bird: Jordan Is The Virgin Mary

IT is easier for Jordan to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for casting directors to breathe new life into the nativity.

All celebrities want to be Mary and Joseph and Jesus. But only three can, meaning Kerry Katona ends up as a townsperson, Anthea Tuner becomes a shepherd and the story is contemporised to feature seventeen kings, twenty-five archangels and Girls Aloud as a local act who can’t get into the f*****g inn neither.

Jordan is a professional. And if she can’t be Mary then she will be an elf or Mrs Clause or dress up as a lapdancer, getting into the seasonal cheer but pulling on stockings and making quips about Santa’s sack.

Jordan’s all things to all people motif is carried through to her Christmas dinner. As she tells us: “On Christmas Day I think I’ll do a bird in a bird in a bird – a duck in a chicken in a turkey.”

It’s as if in some way Jordan’s time in the Hugh Heffner house has affected her. And what odds the thing goes wrong and ends up looking overstuffed as the turkey is lubed up and forced into the duck’s breast cavity?

Anorak

Posted: 19th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre, OK! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink