Manchester United’s Christmas Roast: Cocks Of The North
“THREE MAN U STARS ROASTED GIRL No.2,” announces the Sun’s front-page headline.
“Get in there,” shouts the crowd as the lads got stuck in to the game bird. “Well done son,” come the words of encouragement.
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” chant more. “Keep it up,” extol others. “We are United the cocks of the North,” goes the rousing tune from the terrace at Manchester’s Great John Street Hotel.
John Evans, Manchester United’s “sex-scandal soccer star” denies raping a woman at the club’s Christmas do. But while that matter continues to be investigated the Sun hears a “sickened party guest” describe the moaning and groaning coming from an upstairs room.
A “pretty” girl, “19” is having sex with five or six men, “including three United players”.
Says the girl, now emerged from the room: “They said I was a great shag.”
A “thank you”, “best wishes” scrawled on a souvenir napkin or a firm handshake would have sufficed but these day players are versed in media training and now that there image is important. They go the extra yard.
Indeed, the Sun looks on as the United “stars” visit a hospital. Not for themselves and a nasty itch, but to meet sick children.
Not sick and perverted. But really ill…
Posted: 21st, December 2007 | In: Back pages, Tabloids Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
December 22nd, 2007 at 11:42 am
do read simon heffer in today’s “daily telegraph”. quite brilliant!
December 21st, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Maybe she enjoyed it?
December 21st, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Oh the horror………………….!
Well of course she puts out, but she does it with taste!!!
December 21st, 2007 at 1:30 pm
David,
Your daughter puts out. Don’t forget what me and Steve Mclaren did with her in Benidorm!
December 21st, 2007 at 1:10 pm
I had assumed this was a Flashman-style attack in the manner endured by Tom Brown at Rugby School, but there is no mention of a roaring fire. I suspect “roasting” has acquired another interpretation.
If I read about tossing in a blanket, I wonder if I should assume this also has the same meaning as in Hughes’ novel?
December 21st, 2007 at 1:04 pm
If you’re a good looking young girl, and probably dressed like a hooker, what would you imaging you have been invited to Man Us annual machiso fest for anyway?
Tea and polite conversation??? Oh please.
“Oh it was just awful” they simper to reporters afterward.
What did you think was going to happen bonehead???
As the father of a very attractive daughter (now 27) I’ve always been so happy that she came equipped with a fully functioning brain.