Anorak | Slim Pickings On Coronation Street

Slim Pickings On Coronation Street

by | 16th, January 2008

rovers.jpgTHE camera cuts to a perplexed pub cook Betty Turpin eyeing with a suspicion often reserved for visiting Cockneys and edible knickers, Coronation Street’s polenta and cheese ready meal.

Betty had best get used to it. The Sun says Coronation Street “bosses” have ordered the cast to stop eating fatty foods and to slim down. Even today’s widescreen TVs are proving too small to contain the thespians.

“Big Stars like Jennie McAlpine, who plays Fizz Brown, will be under the microscope,” says the Sun. Or, rather, the telescope.

This is, of course, no more than reality entering the world of fictional soap.

Viewers should expect one of those health warnings to punctuate each instalment of The Street – “Characters are played by actors who eat five pieces of fruit a day, the cigarettes are asparagus tubes filled with organic talcum powder, and crisps are made of raw slices of potato, the ‘crunch’ sound produced by the sound affects team munching on carrots.”

Look out for cameo appearance from Jamie Oliver who enters the Rovers bar and cooks crisps from “raw”, before adding a natural chicken flavour by killing a hen live on air and with an artisan’s pestle and mortar grinding the meat to a fine powder…

Posted: 16th, January 2008 | In: Tabloids, TV & Radio Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink