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Anorak | Alan Johnson’s Anti-Fat Pied Piper

Alan Johnson’s Anti-Fat Pied Piper

by | 21st, January 2008

ice-cream.JPG“GOVERNMENT may ban fast food near schools,” says the Telegraph.

“Ministers are concerned that many older children shun healthy school lunches for junk food, while younger pupils use ‘pester power’ to force their parents to buy them unhealthy snacks on the way home.”

Odd that this Government wants to curtail choice; choice is the mantra for all the main political parties. Odder still that the Government should want to stop children walking to the shops and buying cheap protein.

Perhaps the thinking is that if the fast food shops are removed further from the schools the nippers will have to walk further and so burn off more fat?

Says Health Secretary, Alan Johnson: “Hazel Blears [the Community Secretary] and I will also look at how the planning system can help all areas by making sure that planning decisions promote physical activity with better use of the regulations that enable local authorities to limit the spread of fast food outlets especially near parks and schools.”

As such, we can expect the ice-cream van to less stop than slow to the proscribed 5mp, the Mr Whippy Pied Piper leading the fatties and potential fatties through the streets, his tinky-tonk Greensleeves cranked up to a fat-burning 120-plus beats per minute.

Any children fallen the wayside will be rolled into the road and used as speed calming devices, and objects of fun.

It’s joined-up Government…



Posted: 21st, January 2008 | In: Broadsheets Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink