Wayne Rooney Shows Ugly Face Of The Once Beautiful Game

HOW Wayne Rooney must wish he’d been playing in the 1970s, when footballers had chest hair, sat in oversized muddy baths and performed squat thrusts on Superstars.

Now you have to be less hirsute than a dolphin, bring to market an eponymous scent that isn’t a blend of linament, blood and rash, and live with a girlfriend with her own range of DVD fitness videos.

Wayne is a throwback. And voters of one online poll, as reported in the Sun, think Wayne harks back to a more distant past than when Norman Hunter stalked the Earth.
As the Sun reports: “Girls have voted Wayne Rooney No1 – in a poll of the world’s UGLIEST footballers.”

How the pollsters ensured all voters were girls is unclear, it being easy to be what you are not online. But while their is contention, there is is also hope: “But a fifth of girls said they would go out with an ugly footballer just for their money.”
A brighter side, then, for young Rooney…

The People’s Club Has Spoken 

And there is a curiosity. The poll was conducted by the utilitarian The People’s Club.

Having selected the kind of motto normally reserved for struggling Division 2 outfits, the People’s Club offers YOU the chance to pay money be a “successful owner manager of a real football club”.

If the plan comes off, you and 39,999 others can be part of the “exclusive” club. Indeed, it is very much like My Football Club, the other The People’s Club that plans to allow its members to control a club and with it other people’s lives and livelihoods at the click of a button.

The curiosity is that the Top 10 Ugliest footballers look like this:

1. Wayne Rooney, 2. Ronaldinho, 3. Carlos Tevez, 4. Peter Crouch, 5. Ronaldo, 6. Luke Chadwick, 7. Robbie Fowler, 8. Darren Fletcher, 9. Rio Ferdinand, 10. Ruud Van Nistelrooy.

No fewer than eight of the Top Ten play or have played for Manchester United. And this with no mention of Phil Neville.

While it is true that Manchester United players find it hard to breathe with their mouths closed, are they really the ugliest team? Are they ugly at all?

Or might it be that the survey is a little skewed, perhaps to mask the disappointment of The People’s Club being unable to find the £800m necessary to purchase the Red Devils?

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, January 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink