Canterbury Moves To Ban The French

ALL aboard the coach to Canterbury. And Canterbury has standards.

In the council chambers, the town’s burgers are discussing important matters, namely a proposal for a new coach park.

Talk turns to users of the coach park and what sort of persons the venue will attract.

Says Liberal Democrat councillor Alex Perkin, a moderate: “I’m not sure we want tourists who spray their hair green and squirt silly string all over the place.”

Then: “What we need is quality tourism and people who come for a few days and stay in our hotels.”

What Canterbury requires as much as a coach park is a rigid code of conduct, produced in both French and English. The French sigh should say “NON!” in massive letters and remind one and all that it was Adolf Hitler who first called Kent The Garden Of England…

If I ruled Canterbury:

Canterbury will not tolerate replica Northern men in football kits, push-up bras, waiters who say “there you go”, Noel Edmonds, women who say “everything alright?” when they meet you, men you call you “big guy” and children called Izzy…

Anorak

Posted: 25th, January 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink