Anorak | Blur, Blur, Blur: Alex James Talks Bananas And Cocaine

Blur, Blur, Blur: Alex James Talks Bananas And Cocaine

by | 29th, January 2008

cocaine_tooth_.pngWRITES Alex James, formerly of the band Blur: “In the UK cocaine goes hand in hand with champagne, yoga and organic vegetables. It enjoys an exclusive upmarket cachet.”

All should be avoided.

Says James: “Actually you might as well eat live engendered monkeys while wearing a blindfold and firing an automatic machine gun as take cocaine.”

Celebrities are always looking for the next big thing and may care to take James up on his offer.

Others will customise the trend and eat an Uzi while blindfolding the last of a monkey breed. But such is the way in the creative industries.

James, who has taken cocaine and is now a reformed cocaine taker, tells us: “Farmers have trouble selling their bananas to Europe but we happily buy cocaine.”

The tabloid press has yet to produce grainy images of a celebrity snorting bananas. But if James can show us how, the demand and price for bananas will rocket and everyone will be deliriously happy…

Alex James is a cheese farmer

Posted: 29th, January 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink