Blur, Blur, Blur: Alex James Talks Bananas And Cocaine
WRITES Alex James, formerly of the band Blur: “In the UK cocaine goes hand in hand with champagne, yoga and organic vegetables. It enjoys an exclusive upmarket cachet.”
Says James: “Actually you might as well eat live engendered monkeys while wearing a blindfold and firing an automatic machine gun as take cocaine.”
Celebrities are always looking for the next big thing and may care to take James up on his offer.
Others will customise the trend and eat an Uzi while blindfolding the last of a monkey breed. But such is the way in the creative industries.
James, who has taken cocaine and is now a reformed cocaine taker, tells us: “Farmers have trouble selling their bananas to Europe but we happily buy cocaine.”
The tabloid press has yet to produce grainy images of a celebrity snorting bananas. But if James can show us how, the demand and price for bananas will rocket and everyone will be deliriously happy…
Alex James is a cheese farmer
Posted: 29th, January 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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February 7th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
If bananas got you fucked up and sucked all the money out of your bank account maybe they would be more popular with the cocaine crowd.
I’m just jealous because I can barely afford bananas, so coke is totally out of the question!
January 29th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
So that’s why I’m so relentlessly dull?
I was wondering
January 29th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
That show has gotten me into coke, thank you Alex!
January 29th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Nothing duller and more righteous than a reformed drug taker
January 29th, 2008 at 9:25 am
And remember children, like the documentary demonstrated:
Communist FARC grown Cocaine = Bad
US sponsored right-wing AUC cocaine = Good
President Uribe has strong connections with the AUC, why the US helped him along his way to being president, then while there, he made a deal with his AUC “Free’m fighter” friends, giving them amnesty and not attacking their growing regions, while they go after the competition, FARC.
In order to do this the USA gave Uribe lots of toys, but only as long as he used them against his own people, and doesn’t do anything silly like that Argentine Junta did back in the 1980s.
This is the US “war” on drugs.
Of course, if the demand stopped, then so would the supply, but like with given the choice adopting the metric system during the US “revolution”, they passed, because it was “Too complicated” so they messed up Imperial and called it US imperial instead :unsure:
The same with this war against inanimate objects (”Drugs” in this case), is reminiscent of when a toddler prangs themselves on the corner of a table, and in order to distract them you smack the table and say “Bad table, bad!”
Of course all that was “too complicated” for the documentary too, as the person just came up with a load of bland and trite statements and colourful photography. Basically another Eco tour, while he gets lionised as a white God whereas really they just want the cool kit that the gringos have got and are sizing them up for the rob.