Chery Cole And Ashley Walk The Talk

“CHERYL WALKS,” announces the Mirror’s front page.

Nothing epitomses Cheryl Cole’s career to date so much as her departure, and the Sun leads with news that she walks and talks.

But these are early days in a celebrity career. And it turns out that Cheryl does her walking by car and allows her agent to talk on her behalf. He tells us: “They are definitely still together. There is obviously lots of stuff going on at the moment and Cheryl has gone away for a break to clear her head for a few days.”

Readers may wonder if Ashley Cole is to carry on playing football for Chelsea by electing a paid representative to kick balls for him, leaving him free to engage in more meaningful pursuits and further enjoy his elevated status?

But if Cheryl and Ashley aren’t doing much - although the papers say the singer (that’s her) spent yeasterday sobbing - others are happy to talk on their behalf.

GMTV viewers were yesterday treated to the sight of Lizzie Cundy, wife of former Spurs footballer Jason Cundy, wailing against kiss ‘n’ tell girls. She was going chest-to-chest with the penumatic Alicia Douvall, who blasted “cheating rat” Ashley. The debate became heated and Douvall poured tea over Cundy.

That is how much Cheryl and Ashley mean to us. And if Cheryl is still undecided what to do next, the columnists are happy to chip in.

“You always said you’d dump him Cheryl…so do it,” says Jane Moore in the Sun. Moore recalls Cheryl making the prediction that if her man cheated, the marriage was “kaput, finito, sooo over”.

As any good columnist and nodding head knows, you have to stand by your forecasts, or else hope they are forgotten in the welter of news.

“Only she can decide whether its worth hanging on to her flawed marriage,” says the Mirror’s Sue Carroll. Should Cheryl dump that “chancer” Cole? Up to you, Cheryl, the “Crown Princess of Wags” (Allison Pearson, Mail).

Moore’s colleague Polly Hudson is not so circumspect. “At last I can say the words I’ve been dying to since last Friday,” says Polly. “HAPPY WEDNESDAY!” Or rather, “YAY CHERYL… It can’t have been easy to face the fact Prince charming is nothing but a slimy toad with a ‘not very big’ appendage.”

But now the facts have been faced, Cheryl can make her move. She can walk. She was talk. And one day, when the healing is done, she will be ready to do both at once…

Anorak

Posted: 30th, January 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink