Kerry Katona Is Crazy In Love For Jeremy Kyle, The Movie

“HEAT VISITS Kerry Katona (and Mark, who hides upstairs).”

Kerry Katona, a shoo-in for numerous walk-on parts in Jeremy Kyle: The Movie, is stood before her house. heat’s writer “isn’t sure if she’s a welcome guest.”

Readers see the double garages, the sports car and the paved driveway. And if they peer around Kerry, they can see the front door. It’s closed.

“Let’s not pretend here: Kerry does not like heat magazine,” says heat magazine. Kerry has bought an Alsatian dog. She has a husband heat has labelled “intimidating”.

Kerry and Mark have been in Madeira filming a section for the MTV show Crazy In Love. heat says Kerry did not emerge from her hotel room for four days. Love and especially Crazy Love can do that to you.

Perhaps this is why heat cannot focus, revealing straight off that Kerry’s home features a gravel driveway. But the picture, we splutter. It’s a herringbone pattern in block paving. gut no-one listens…

Inside With Kerry

A ring on the door, which heat correctly identifies. A wait. A “stern-yet-friendly” woman called Pat opens the door. She’s Kerry’s stepsister, employed to do the cleaning.

“The house is spotless, a bit like an MFI showroom,” albeit without the glamour. “I heart mum,” says a message scrawled in crayon on the fridge. heat says it’s the work of one of Kerry’s children, but can it be certain?

More messages are writ on a whiteboard: “Baby scan”, “School disco”, “Dog trainer”, all staging posts on the celebrity journey. Add “Rehab” and you have the making of a How To Celebrity guide.

Getting Over Kerry

Katona appears. “She all we go and get his over with?” she says. She then calls the papers “arseholes”. Kerry has eight tattoos, including “Heidi”, the name of one of her daughters, on her neck.

Kerry tells us that she’s not “showbiz”. Which make us wonder why anyone ever thought she was and how come she came to be a celebrity?

heat then recalls a moment on an MTV show in which Kerry was “in the garden with your dog and you’re gurning and sniffing”. Kerry, who made a name of herself sticking out her tongue, responds: “I was doing this, wasn’t I? [Makes a sideways motion with her chin.] I do it constantly. I’ve even got a chipped tooth from doing it.”

Very soon everybody will be doing it. And what then for Kerry?

Kerry leans her head on her right hand. Good. But is it enough?

Anorak

Posted: 12th, February 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink