Sweet FA Move To Stop Swearing At Football

“RED card for the curse of football,” says the Mail, noticing a plan to curtail swearing on the pitch.

The scheme, pioneered by the Football Association, a famous up-to-the-minute body, is for a “zero tolerance” policy to cursing on the field of play.

Swear at the referee and you’re off. Better still, swear at all and you can wash your mouth out in the early bath.

Says an FA spokesman: “People in general need to have a lot more respect for one another. By fostering a new approach on the pitch not only do we hope to clean up the game but hopefully some of it will rub off into everyday life.”

The FA enjoys thinking of itself as setting the standards by which we all live, rather than presiding over a game that reflects the greater society.

So for next season 20 league, represented by 350 teams, will trail the scheme.

All that remains to be decided is that constitutes a swear word? If blasphemy a red card offence. What about swearing in a foreign language? And do you have ejaculate the words or is mouthing them enough?

Meanwhile we look forward to the football this weekend, chiefly Manchester United’s match with Arsenal, and the impressionable fans’ cries of “Wenger is a paedophile”, “Ronaldo take sit up the arse”, “The wanky Tottenham Hotspurs”, all capped by the sight of Sir Alex Ferguson taking us through the gamut of swear words as his face takes on the appearance of an inflated bowel…

Anorak

Posted: 14th, February 2008 | In: Back pages Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink