Anorak’s Eazy 3 Machine Can Rebuild Jordan For Bacon Week

WITH a reduced Jordan now looking less like Jordan than a Kate Andre – and who the hell is she? – the country needs a news glamour model.

The new Jordan will be less created then moulded. Into Anorak’s Eazy3 steps young Nicola and with the addition of some vowels, GGs latex and sunset orange colouring (now in a handy spray) out steps Nikii.

The Eazy3 machine should be able to turn out at least 10 Jordans a day.

Nothing is perfect, though, and the seconds will go to the Daily Sport.

The Sport knows what it is. While the Sun has Nikkala, happy to talk about world economic issues and celebrity, the Sport has a “FREE BABE SANDWICH POSTER”.

Before that, readers get a “BONUS” babe” a kind of two-for-one deal, offcuts formed into a Sam, from Rotherham.

But it is the centre pages that draw the readers in like a rutting salmon to its spawning grounds. And there is the Star’s model du jour eating a bacon sandwich and allowing the tomato ketchup to cascade seductively down her bosom. It’s National Bacon Week.

It’s a piece of meat. With sauce, no less. But only half person. No legs, see. No feet. No page 3 backside.

They broke the mould when they made Jordan. But with the Anorak’s Eazy3, we can rebuild…

Anorak

Posted: 15th, February 2008 | In: Page 3 Girls, Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink