Mohamed Al Fayed’s Off The Cuff Remarks
MOHAMED al Fayed is on the cover of the nation’s newspapers. Mohamed al Fayed has been speaking about all things Princess Diana and Dodi. Mohammed al Fayed, he says lots.
For reasons unexplained, Mr Fayed has chosen the moment of his greatest attraction to dispense with his usual outfit of skin-tight double-breasted suit and vomit-’n'-cuff shirts, those stripy shirts with white collar and cuffs he has made his own. Fayed appears in a dark blue suit with large check pattern, and a similarly designed shirt over a blue turtleneck top.
In all papers, Mr Fayed is pictured raising his hand to the air like Topol’s impish wife asking him off the bloody roof get, or else looking like a very small man pleading with the much taller sweetshop owner to help him reach the top shelf.
The news:
DOILY MIRROR (front page): “HORRIBILIS”
“Charles wanted Di dead to wed Camilla,” and baked in a pie with all the poor blackbirds, innit, like Robert Kilroy-Silk, Elvis, Anthea Turner and Lee Harvey Oswald?
“Philip’s a Nazi..go back to Germany!” – He like Ken Hitler to that fuggign Klaus Barbie woman. That Osama bin Laden and Philip have never been seen in same room at same time. Shock. Is truth!
DOILY MAIL: “Al Fayed tells inquest Prince Philip’s a racist Nazi called Frankenstein, Camilla is a crocodile and royals are a ‘Dracula family’.” Still he insists.. I’M NOT MAD”.
THE SUN: “IS HE OFF HIS FAYED?”
THE STAR: “VAMPIRE ROYALS KILLED DI”
DOILY ESPRESS: “’Prince Philip and Blair ordered murder. And the Queen, he adds, bought off Burrell”
It’s all just so fanciful that , given how implausible life can be – see the tabloids every day – there remains the chance that Mr Fayed is hitting upon some kind of truth.
If you can spot it – and if the agents from SPECTRE don’t get you first – let us know what the truth is…
Posted: 19th, February 2008 | In: Princess Diana Inquest, Royal Family, Tabloids Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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February 20th, 2008 at 10:59 am
5 Patch Says:
I have to admit to a chuckle on hearing Camilla described as a ‘crocodile’!!!
I thought the crocodile was going to be Lady McCrocodile surely?
2 Carmen
Praise be to prophet Mohamed for a good laugh - I was surprised there was no comment from the People’s ex Prime Minister.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
around 6 mill for the inquest alone. And before that the inquiry and I don’t doubt there’ll be something else.
He gives a whole new meaning to the words ‘manically obsessed’.
February 19th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
How much has this clown cost the British taxpayer ?
February 19th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Poor Camilla, The Rotwheiler, The Crocodile`, and……don’t think we have heard anything else.` She has a sense of humor and you can bet that couple can do the crocadile rock.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:35 am
5.Patch,
yes, I chuckled at that and then pondered on the full phrase ‘Crocodile wife’….so I suppose that means Charles is the crocodile!!!!!great fun, lol.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:29 am
I have to admit to a chuckle on hearing Camilla described as a ‘crocodile’!!!
February 19th, 2008 at 9:16 am
Who would have wanted Diana killed! Was Diana gotten rid of because she did not want to marry Dodi. We hear Diana was seen crying before leaving the hotel. She had sent her luggage on to UK. Seemed to be making a getaway. I view the situation as Diana being used as a meal ticket. When she said no, someone may have got into a tantrum and even said, say, get rid of ‘em. Dodi was into drugs, Paul Burrell told us that one. Certain people would have liked a marriage to get back at the UK Govt who would not give a certain person what he wanted. Now that person has the rest of their life to be very sorry indeed.
February 19th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I wish I’d been there. Dontcha just love it? I knew it would be good but not THAT good……
It’s all going to seem so boring now though 10 years in jail for Burrell sounds interesting…
February 19th, 2008 at 7:59 am
hang on, I’ve seen Doctor Who. The royals are werewolves, not vampires.
(allegedly)