A Total Ban On Food And Drink In Cinemas: Bring Back Smoking
TO the cinema, where Adam Glennon is making his way to his seat for the sci-fi thriller Cloverfield.
A security guard approaches. He wants to know what Mr Glennon has in the plastic bag. Sweets. Mr Glennon is ordered to hand over the bag and it contents to the guard.
Says he: “He was searching me like a copper looking for a gun. I was blood red because I couldn’t believe it.”
Mail readers learn that Mr Glennon had previously visited a cheaper shop and paid £5 for eight packets of M&Ms, a multi-pack of crisps, a “mixture of sweets” and two bottles of cherry cola.
The policy is that all beverages and snacks consumed on the premises should be bought on the premises. Mr Glennon is outraged and is now stood outside the cinema handing our free sweets and price comparison leaflets.
This protest may outweigh the money saved on buying the discounted sweets over the more expensive cinema goods. And it may garner sympathy with some punters, who should take care to swallow all freebies before entering the cinema on pain of being held upside down and shaken.
But the Anorak cannot support Me Glennon. His bag of swag is exactly the kind of thing that should be conviscated from cinema goers.
It is for such people and their noisy sweet wrappers that cinemas brought in a zero tolerance policy on mobile phones in auditoriums, lest the likes of Mr Glennon dial up a pizza delivery service and sit chewing a deep-pan Hawaiian with cheesy garlic bread and nachos for 90-minutes plus the trailers.
The Anorak call for a total ban on all food in cinemas and for anyone with a tickly throat to be taken from this place and shot.
The far less offensive habit of smoking should be reintroduced, it serving to keep mouths busy, and Spanish language school students from talking through the screening..
Join our campaign by adding your name herunder…
Posted: 19th, February 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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February 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Bloody hell, he’d be hyper++++++ after all that lot.
The next time we go we are planning on a diy bar too. Thing was the last thing we went to see was Spamalot and were too busy laughing to eat.
Years from I have smoked, anything, especially Sobranie..but they were so elegant and exotic looking
February 19th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Sobranie June. I hadn’t thought of them in years. Those were the days.
The last film I went to see was “White Noise” (2005) with my sister.
We snuck in half bottle of gin and added it to the large coke purchased on site.
The film was OK, nothing special, but we had a good night!
I like the foot long hotdogs, mustard, ketchup…….
Which were eaten long before the film started.
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“Mail readers learn that Mr Glennon had previously visited a cheaper shop and paid £5 for eight packets of M&Ms, a multi-pack of crisps, a “mixture of sweets” and two bottles of cherry cola.”.
Blimey, was he going to eat all that at one showing? or was he going to claim squatters rights!
February 19th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Aint been to the cinema since the saturday morning picture show - cant remember the last film i stayed awake for - knock down all the ‘picture palaces’ and replace them with hospitals and 24 hour bagel shops!
February 19th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Sobranie were good at getting the whole audience to cough and make their eyes water, removing the two senses essential to movie /theatre goers.
But the prices they charge for g&t nowadays!!
February 19th, 2008 at 10:09 am
why not just tell the rent-a-cop what a joke he is and refuse to hand over anything?
February 19th, 2008 at 9:54 am
I agree. why exactly do people have munch their way through a film? What need is there for a carrier bag of crap food when you’re out almost before you get in?
Bring back smoking and two films (A & B) lots of Pearl and Dean ads, a few trailers, an ice-cream and being able to sit there through three showings if you want to.
The joy of watching Hitchcocks ‘The Birds’ through a blue haze of No 6 ciggie smoke (with the occasional pretentious gaulouse) is something the young will never get to enjoy!!