Anorak | Sun Readers Are Given The Death Penalty

Sun Readers Are Given The Death Penalty

by | 25th, February 2008

hangman.jpgGRIM news for Sun readers.

In place of the usual reports on The Wheelbarrow being this year’s Missionary and the Great British Chip, a death sentence.

Black Cap on. And the sentence: “You will be taken hence to a place of lawful execution and there hanged by the neck until you are dead.”

The likelihood of this decimating the paper’s readership is high, but it is what “99%” of “YOU WANT” and must be made so. The Sun was ever the populist newspaper.

Before you go, Amy D, from Widnes, would like to remove her bra and tell you that: “There are so many terrible people walking the street (see here), that there has to be a stronger deterrent. They should be locked away forever.”

Amy appeals for clemency. And she makes a convincing argument. And if she can dress as a 1950s Sunday School teacher, the judge may yet be swayed.

But death it is. If the UK is to be made clean 99% of Sun readers will have to die. It is the only way. It is what YOU want.

It is what Helen Newlove wants. She’s the widow of Garry Newlove who was murdered by “swaggering killers”.

It’s what Richard Taylor, father to murdered 10-year-old Damiola Taylor, wants.

It’s what Linda Bowman, mother to murdered daughter Sally Anne Bowman, wants.

It’s not what Sara Payne wants, mother of murdered schoolgirl Sarah.

Which makes it one in four against. That’s 75 per cent. But fromer Home Office minister Anne Widdecombe wants it, and so too does Shadow Home Secretary David Davis.

Michael Portillo, a former Tory minister, says “I’d go for the gas mask”. But the sentenced to death rarely have a choice.

But it is too late. You will be taken from this place and killed by the state. And if you can take out a few Al Qaeda operatives on your way out, so much the more penitent.

May God have mercy on your soul…

Posted: 25th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink