Celebrity Suicide Watch, With Paul Gascoigne, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Jordan, Big Brother And All Your Favourites

“GAZZA SUICIDE WATCH,” says the Star’s front page, words illustrated by a picture of Paul Gascoigne.

The tabloids routinely offer their readers a chance to slide back the peep hole and check on the mental wellbeing of the celebrity in “my hell”. Paris Hilton, Brintey Spears, Amy Winehouse, Jordan - you alright in your mental prison?

The talk is always of suicide:

In “JORDAN: MY DRUG AN SUICIDE HELL”, the News of the World told of Katie Price’s suicide concerns. For herself.

Fears were that Katie would top herself. Not just once. This would be the world’s first single-person double suicide. As with so much of Katie’s career, she would killer herself twice.

The Sunday Express told us: “Britney: I’ll kill myself.”

The Mirror placed her on “suicide watch“.

The Sun saw her “suicide note“.

The Sun told us that Michael Barrymore was on “SUICIDE WATCH”.

There was talk of former EastEnders red coat Shane Richie’s suicide note.

A Big Brother star emeritus told the world, via the tabloids, that a Big Brother star will commit suicide. Only a matter of time. Stay tuned.

Big Brother bully Jo O’Meara was on “suicide watch“.

The Sun saw that Jade Goody was on “suicide watch“.

Paris Hilton sings of “suicide“.

Paris Hilton was the Sun’s “SUICIDE BLONDE“.

The News of the World saw a jail sentence as a “SUICIDE” sentence for Amy Winehouse.

And now Paul Gascoigne is on suicide watch. And we watch. The Sun has had Gazza on suicide watch since February 22nd.

But nothing. Not yet.

Keep looking. Gather round.

It’s the tabloid suicide cult. It’s the cult of suicides in the media…

Anorak

Posted: 10th, March 2008 | In: Amy Winehouse, Back pages, Britney Spears, Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre, Paris Hilton, Tabloids Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink