WEATHER. It’s happening. Now!
The Sun looks on as a wave crashes close to a woman, a man and a pram. “BUGGY IDIOT,” says the front-page headline. “Dad risks baby’s life as wave hits.”
Worse: “The idiot had just one hand on the buggy, with a cigarette in the other, as breakers crashed over Brighton’s sea wall.”
Shock: “Andrew Hasson, who saw the dad and a pal, said: “They were stupid and lucky not to be swept away.”
He offers no comment on the cigarette. But a nation is sickened.
More beach shots as on the Times. A man is airborne. In his hand the remnants of an umbrella. The sea to his right. The soft wet sand beneath. No cigarette. He might make it yet.
This is “HURRICANE BRITAIN” says the Express on its cover. Had only BBC weatherman Michael Fish been an Express reporter in 1987, he’d not have poo-pooed warnings of a hurricane. He’d have screamed it. And he’d have continued screaming it every day, just in case he was right.
The paper shows its readers a satellite image of white and black dots and dashes and swirls. Over this is transposed an outline of the UK, in orange.
“Brace yourself,” says the Telegraph on its front page. “The worst is yet to come.” No chances taken.
No More Michael Fish.
Posted: 11th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Global Warming, Tabloids Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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March 11th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I wear A Gormless Wally when forced to sleep with Sally Anne.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
because of course we don’t live in a temperate climate, hmmmm.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Ah! Gales and Wet.
March 11th, 2008 at 11:44 am
You got me Anorak : Any Greatcoat-Worn
March 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am
AGW - Anorak not required
March 11th, 2008 at 11:14 am
It amazes me that the weather girls aren’t taught to expect rain, snow, fog, wind, gales, they do seem shocked that everyday isn’t a balmy sunny warm one.
I thought meteorologists knew we have 4 seasons, and one of them can be cold, frosty dry, wet, and some of the loveliest sunshine ever.
But then weather girls live in fairy land….
Last month during the less than wintry temps I saw two girls in our main drag wearing shorts and cami tops…their gooseflesh stopped the traffic!
March 11th, 2008 at 11:03 am
A very poor choice of clothing - perhaps a ghastly pullover?
March 11th, 2008 at 10:58 am
There is no such thing as bad weather. It does not exist, it is a figment of the effete Southerner’s imagination.
There is NO bad weather; there is , very often, a very poor choice of clothing.
March 11th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Just wet up there?
March 11th, 2008 at 10:52 am
So sea spray reaches Acacia Avenue.
A fortnight ago we had an earthquake, now its a hurricane giving the railway companies a bona fide reason for not running their trains on time.
What is this country coming to? used to be leaves on the line, or a dusting of snow, or is that an icing of snow that closed the motorways.
But we are now being exotic with Natures events WOW!
-agw not down my bit of sea spume way.