Finding Laughter In Heathrow Terminal Five
MORE news on HeathRow Terminal Five, which is skilfully lowering passenger expectations to a degree whereby anyone spilling a plastic pot of orange juice down their clothes or on the receiving end of an invasive body search in customs will see it as progress and a triumph.
Hurrah!
And there is much joy to be found in HeathRow. As Max Hastings says in the Guardian:
Greens greeted the Terminal Five opening fiasco with the same glee that would be inspired by news of a Japanese whale factory ship foundering off Kyushu. In the eyes of environmentalists, and more than a few people who just hate the airport, here was a massive poke in the eye for British Airways, the aviation lobby, Heathrow expansionists and lots of other people richly deserving of it.
But joy may not last long for the Al Goreans. The Express says that British Airways plans to sort out the backlog of 15,000 bags in Italy. Luggage is being despatched to the airline’s sorting centre in Milan.
Some bags may end up in Manila. But the bulk will arrive in Milan where the handlers will put them order: valuable bags will be placed in the back of a large unmarked white van; less valuable lined up in order of hideousness and thrown down a flight of stairs and jumped up and down upon until quite dead.
• Of course BA is a reputable outfit and bags will be handled with the kind of care afforded to a giant Panda’s reproductive organs.
Just a joke. As we say, there is much joy to be had in others’ misfortune…
Posted: 31st, March 2008 | In: Global Warming, Tabloids Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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April 1st, 2008 at 12:35 am
Hi Mic,
I very much agree with your comments.There is certainly high levels of incompetence that seems more common than chocolate eggs at Easter!
You might find it interesting to know that about 30 years ago I knew a man in England who became the chief engineer of British Airways. An impressive man with high levels of integrity in my experience of knowing him.
To become the chief engineer he had to take a very difficult exam but when the exam was taking place (with other applicants) he noticed that two other men taking the exam were cheating. He reported this and they were promptly thrown out of the exam.
The exam was re-set and the man that I knew(a Mr.Cox) not only passed the exam but became the first person to be given a 100 per-cent mark in the engineering exam.
British Airways is the national airline, and should be a magnificent example of high standards and efficency .The apalling start to terminal 5 is totally unacceptable and people SHOULD be fired no matter what their level in the company. To accept low standards and shocking incompetence is to allow failure to become a normal.
Regards,
JOHN
March 31st, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Can you imagine the catastrophe that 2012 will bring?
March 31st, 2008 at 8:41 pm
John,
I’m amazed by the fact that whatever is wrong with place can be so serious as to cause all this shag’n'hassle, yet not be obvious enough to have been spotted as a risk beforehand.
Will anyone in senior managemente get sacked? Probably not
Will all the senior management get a year-end bonus? I don’t think I need answer that one, as we probably all know the answer already…..
Branson’s transatlantic lot must think Christmas has come round early.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Heathrow or Heathjoke? Its not running smoothly considering the 4.3 billion pound cost.
Not much has gone to plan in the last ten years.
1 THE DOME in Greenwich( a failure and financial disaster) that was kept running by robbing the lottery funds month after month
2 THE WONKY BRIDGE across the Thames.Closed down for repairs that lasted months because it swayed like a hammock in the wind !
3 WEMBLEY STADIUM Finally finished, but years after its original completion date and after paying hundreds of millions extra.
4 HEATHROW T5 Is it any surprise?
5 The only thing that seems to have gone smoothly is Gordon Brown selling a large chunk of Britain`s GOLD RESERVES for around $230 and, then later the price jumped to over a $1,000 dollars……..losing a huge amount of money! Efficent at being useless.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
T5= dodgems and loosems and soddems
March 31st, 2008 at 4:00 pm
For once, I am dumbstruck…………..
If this is what happens to luggage, I wouldn”t fancy my chances in the driverless pods,
there is an electronic pad on the track to stop the pods crashing into each other by
sending a warning signal. I”m alright though, they are for Business Class only.