Anorak | Armed Maasai Warriors Goad London Marathon Runners On

Armed Maasai Warriors Goad London Marathon Runners On

by | 3rd, April 2008

rhino-runner.jpgTO the London Marathon, at no great pace.

Six Maasai warriors are taking part in the race. No, not half a dozen blacked-up coppers from Basildon, but actual bona fide warriors with spears and shields.

Marathon chiefs are expecting a fast race this year as the warriors angle their spears into buttocks and goad them of to ever greater effort.

But they should take care. The tribesmen have been issued with a four-page guide by Greenforce charity workers.

The rules:

1. If the group sees a cow pig or sheep in a field they should not kill it and eat it. “It is important to remember these animals are owned by someone and are looked after”.

2. It is illegal to show certain parts of your body so is important to wear underwear.”

3. Use a toilet and not a bush. Do not follow the example set by Tanzania’s very own Paula Radcliffe.

4. If you take and wear something someone else has like a bracelet they will find it unusual”

5. Britishers “seem sillier when the drink alcohol”

6. Do not spit in public expect in a sink or at a tree, and even then when no-one is looking

Anorak’s Things To Do In London

A. All pigeon should be speared on sight

B. Len Livingstone is the descendent of the great Maasai warlord of yore and should be taken forcibly back to Africa and made king on pain of death

C. Don’t drink the water

D. Don’t run, because as a black man in London the police will only chase you

Posted: 3rd, April 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink