Madden About The Girl: A PH Test For Just Married Paris Hilton

IT’S Paris Hilton, straight-to-tissues home video star, heiress and American Royalty.

“PARIS MATCH,” says the Mirror as Benji Madden, a performer with pop band Good Charlotte, introduces her as his brother Joel’s sister-in-law.

Can Paris be married? And what does the gigantic diamond ring on her finger with the initials PH mean? The Mirror’s 3am girls, now reduced in number from three to two do not say, and lack the resources to investigate.

Anorak consults its big book of abbreviations to see PH: “Public House”; “Proportional Hazard”; and a test for acid.

Or what about “Photographer’s Hoof”, as the Sun reports on how Hilton and her “boyfriend” are accused of running over the foot of one Glen Gurniak?

Says he: “There were too many people that side of the car so he swung the wheels in my direction on the other side of the car and got my foot trapped under the wheel. I yelled at him, ’Dude, you’ve pinched my foot under the wheel, don’t drive, don’t drive.’”

Madden is said to have driven on, leaving Mr Gurniak with no option but to report the matter to the police and tell the world’s press of his pain.

Says Los Angeles Sheriff spokesman Steve Witmore: “The incident is currently under investigation.”

And we wait to know what PH means, the modern dictionary definition of sister-in-law and if Mr Gurniak is to be fitted with a telescopic tripod leg…

Picture: 14

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Celebrities, Paris Hilton, Tabloids Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink