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Anorak | Not Spanking ‘Neurotic’ Gordon Brown At The Polls

Not Spanking ‘Neurotic’ Gordon Brown At The Polls

by | 1st, May 2008

brown_alarm.gifAN up and at ‘em wake up call from the new improved Daily Sport: “DON’T VOTE! GET LAID!”

For those of you not up with Americanisms, those of you who like your Sport to focus on association football and not soccer, “laid” is explained as: “Don’t bother voting! Get our leg over instead!”

Today Britons go to the polls and select which retired dentists, overgrown schoolboys and patty canvassers they want to sit on the 4,023 council seats up for grabs. Or not.

The Sun’s George Pasco-Watson prefers voting to sex and thinks Gordon Brown “faces a beating”, a “hammering”. This is “Judgement Day”. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

The Mirror’s Bob Roberts hears Sunder Katwala, general secretary of the Fabian Society, a “key Labour thinktank”, accuse Brown of “neurotic under-confidence”.

Pah! Mirror readers can experience just how relaxed Brown is as he dashes off a few hundred words, covering immigration, the credit crunch, hard-working families, crime, schools, hospitals, policing, Tories, Tories, Tories, his mother, the voices, the mirrors, London and how Londoners should vote for Ken Livingstone.

If Ken wins a third term as London mayor then Labour and Gordon Brown can win, too. So goes the thinking. And this is the same Livingstone who once said that the proudest moment in his political career “is taking on and smashing the New Labour machine in 2000 … and just grinding them into the dust”.

The Mail hears Ken. “Labour braced for a May Day mauling,” says its headline. “Brown braced for meltdown at polls,” chimes the Express.

“Does Brown deserve a pasting from voters?” asks the Express’s phone poll. Yes or No? A vote cost 25p and you don’t have to leave home to make it.

The consensus is that Brown is going to be beaten to a bloody pulp. And he should take care not to enjoy it. The Sport notes that the Government are creating a bill to outlaw violent pornography.

Brown might not a spanking after all…



Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink