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Anorak | A Fifth Of ‘Local’ British Beef Is Foreign

A Fifth Of ‘Local’ British Beef Is Foreign

by | 1st, May 2008

mad_cow_crazy.jpgHAVING run out of people to DNA test the Government is keeping its hand in by sampling our meat.

The BBC tested the meat at 40 pubs and discovered that 20 per cent of samples labelled “local” beef in south-west England were foreign. Furthermore, one plate of mince and carrots was responsible for the Omagh bomb and a wastrel of a sausage fathered a child called Armani (those finding are with the CSA right now).

The Food Standards Agency said it was disappointed by the findings and called for labelling laws to be clarified.

Scientists at Dublin-based DNA specialists Identigen found that eight of the samples had the DNA of the humped zebu cattle.

Says a Dr Ciaran Meghen: “The meat may well have originated from Brazil or Botswana – it’s definitely not local.”

“It’s madness,” says one British cow.

But surely it depends to whom the meat is local. It must be local to someone.

If the chef at the Spliff And Botchelism hails from Rio then the meat is indeed local. And considering the number of South Africans working in the UK catering industry, it is a fiar bet to say that the humped back zebu is more local than a six toed Devonian.

It’s just a pity that the beef turned out to beef at all and not gazelle, lion or something else we Brits love to try out…



Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Reviews Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink