Shannon Matthews: Fags, Lags And Craig Meehan
THE Sun says that a “tobacco bounty” has been placed on Craig Meehan’s head, “stepdad” No. 349831b to Shannon Matthews.
The reward for beating up Meehan is, reportedly, ten ounces of “prison baccy – worth about £8.”
Meehan is worth much more than Karen Matthews, whose head commands the princely sum of ten Lambert & Butler fags.
Says a source at Armley jail, Leeds: “Tobacco is a precious commodity inside. There are people who will do anything to get it, including attacking other inmates.”
The tabloids are fond of publishing insights into life behind bars, a polarised place where prisoners are either sipping cocktails in cushy cells or sat 32 to a cell, injecting pureed rats and listening to Tannoy broadcasts of “Conversations With Sir Cliff – Musing On Life, Jesus and Tennis”.
The inside insider adds of Meehan: “He looked very odd and creepy. All he did was sit in his cell, smoking and watching TV.”
Meehan already has cigarettes, you see. Although how he got them is unsaid. But we are assured that prisoners will do anything for a smoke…
Meehan has now been moved to a new jail, where, one imagines, tobacco is in more plentiful supply.
Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Media, Shannon Matthews, Tabloids Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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May 27th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
according to Cliff, there is….
May 25th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Is there a god ? with scum like meeham I wonder!
May 24th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Cliff has a new record out, Cliff Narrates Bible Stories. Perhaps this CD is easier to listen to than to read the Bibles placed every where by the Gideon Society.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Sad isnt it, they can have wacky backy and thousands in compensation if they dont get it,But not tobacco,Thats Britain for you!
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:47 pm
If my mom had had her way, Sir Cliff could’ve been my daddy (or maybe not!).
So hands ORF my could’ve been daddy you lot!
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
He’s but a shadow of his former self…… (sorry).
Jusy so long as Meehan is listening to him singing about ‘The Young Ones’; that could be construed as a touch inappropriate.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Cliff was my first love. Leave him alone!!
NO
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Cliff constitutes cruel and unusual punishment.
Adding Anthea gets you up into the war crimes category…
M and A
Oh poo am such a bastard I care not…..
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
‘The tobacco economy in British jails; a gender based comparative analysis’
This groundbreaking work will be published in several hundred instalments by a leading tabloid newspaper, depending on the absence, or presence, of anything which might loosely be called news.
Be sure to order your copy now…
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
The Cliff thing sounds fascinating, no Anthea?