Kim Kardashian’s Foaming Outrage
THE Sun says Kim Kardashian, “the Playboy favourite “has been accused of bolstering her booty with the help of foam pants”.
The paper dispatches its reporter to investigate (aka surf the web) and finds that maybe Kardashian is “rear-ly” telling the truth.
Anorak defers to Dr David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, and his formula for the perfect bottom:
(S+C) X (B+F)/ T-V - S (shape), B (bounce), F (firmness), V (symmetry) and T (texture).
At the time of the original study in April 2006, Kardashian was in the shadow of Jennifer Lopez and Kylie Minogue - Dr Holmes said the Austrian chanteuse would “almost certainly” score a perfect 80, ahead of Max Wall (79), the female baboon (78) and an evening with Lembit Opik and the Cheeky Girls (77, 76 and 38, respectively).
Might it be that in those two years, bum technicians have perfected the perfect foam inlay to wear between skin and paints, so creating the ideal 80?
More investigations are required, and until we get to the bottom of this… etcetera etcetera…
Posted: 3rd, June 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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June 4th, 2008 at 9:19 am
ROFL, at first I was blind, and now I see…
June 3rd, 2008 at 11:50 am
I still would.
There have been worse disappointments the morning after, than foamy pants, entire pieces of hair, nails, socks with the exclusive purpose of going in bras, foundation even… sometimes it’s like I’ve walked onto the set of terminator, there are so many artificial body-parts and camouflage effects.
I wonder sometimes whether trading standards shouldn’t be involved, but it’s far easier to just not call back…
Any man that needs to make a scale/formula for what to the rest of us is pure instict (worthiness of any part of the feminine anatomy) has sort of missed the point. Most of us just “know” like idiot-savants…
M and A
Don’t date the dressingtable!!!
June 3rd, 2008 at 11:38 am
who’s the Austrian chanteuse then….??
June 3rd, 2008 at 11:10 am
er oh good grief, foam ? to wear between? eek arrrghhh