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What The Daily Mirror Did In The War

by | 10th, June 2008

honour-the-brave-daily-mirror1.pngWHAT did you do in the war, daddy?

“Well, son,” says the Mirror hack, dandling the child on his knee, “I worked on a paper that had a WMD counter.”

The child looks disappointed. “We got all the way to number one hundred and something.”

Boy: And then what?

Hack: Well, we reached the biggest number in the whole wide world and had to stop counting.

The boy is now wide eyed. He craves more. The hack digs deep.

Hack: We broadcast pictures of Our Boys pissing on an Iraqi, but not really.

Boy: Pissing?

Hack: Widdling, But not really.

And…?

The hack undoes the buttons on his shirt and reveals a medal, on which is scribed “HONOUR THE BRAVE – Daily Mirror.”

He pulls out today’s paper, now yellowed with age. “WE WILL HONOUR THE BRAVE,” says the front-page headline. “Troops killed in action WILL be honoured with a new heroes’ award.”

It is a “Victory for the Daily Mirror medals campaign”.

Boy: But, why is it made of plastic?

Hack: Well, son, at the time there was a commodities crisis and gold was more expensive than cocaine…”



Posted: 10th, June 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink