Hair He Comes: How Scottish Is Donald Trump?
DONALD Trump, he of the tsunami hair, the self-styled “ultimate definition of the American success story” (source: Trump’s CV), the man who budding entrepreneurs can smell like with a spritz off his Obviously, Donald Trump: The Fragrance, is in Scotland.
Trump is in Aberdeen now to argue the case for a £1bn golf resort and housing project. But before there, he stopped off in Stornoway, birthplace of his mother Mary Anne MacLeod,
Was it a cynical stunt? The Telegraph manages to unearth a disgruntled local, one Angus Nicolson, to tell us: “He is tartan-ing up his Scottish roots to get planning approval and that does not go down well.”
What chance Nicolson is right? “Zero.” says Trump. Psk! He’s here to meet his family. The Guardian sees Cases stamped Trump: How to get rich and Never give up being carried off his jet and loaded into the boot of the island’s only Porsche Cayenne 4×4.
How to get rich is now required reading on the island, and you can hear the locals greeting each other with commands to “Be Tenacious”; “Play Golf”; “Be Optimistic, but Always Be Prepared for the Worst”.
Trump presented the TV show The Apprentice in the US, and Stornoway is now Apprentice Island, a place full of no-shit takers leaning on gates while belting out phrases like “I stomp on the face of failure”; “I’d kill any one – ANYONE – to get to the top”; and “Only losers can spell loser”.
The Guardian observes Trump’s “artfully contrived hairdo” (“It briefly hung in the air like an impromptu halo”), and begins to work out how Scottish he is.
The Guardian says his trip last “180 minutes”. He is a three-hour Scot.
In the Scotsman, his trip lasted “ just over two hours.”
Trump remained for a two-minute tour of his mother’s family dwelling, a stone clad home, but soon to be covered in a rich film of gold and mirrored plutonium. The Guardian says the visit lasted 97 seconds. The Herald counters with 120 seconds.
And, as ever with Trumps, there is no little controversy.
Posted: 10th, June 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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June 11th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Why is it that so many Americans feel obligated to let the world know that they have English, Scottish, Welsh or Irish blood. Can you not be proud to just say : I,m American ”
He reminds me of a certain Royal member. ” A Pompous Ponce “
June 11th, 2008 at 10:02 am
he seems to have enough trouble with his hair, never mind a kilt….!
June 10th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
He may think he is a Scot but where’s his troosers, I mean his kilt?
‘Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,
Through the streets in my kilt I’ll go,
And all the lassies shout hello
Donald where’s your troosers. ‘ Scottish celtic song
June 10th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Has Donald got Charlton Heston’s arsenal of weapons as he plays his role in Scotland’s new version of ‘Local Hero’ ?
Aw oh, is the sensitive dune habitat (a Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) ) in Dire Straits? Play it again Mark Knopfler please for the local heros and the golf widows.
June 10th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Did I hear him libel President George Bush Jr about his body odour on the BBC news?
Yes he did 
my bets on the capitalist trump card
I think he said that ‘he stinks’
So will he come up trumps taking the sanddunes and keeping the ramblers out of his Bonny Scotland golf course?
Will he come up trumps in plans to golfify Scotland or does a devolved free Scotland have a say
June 10th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
And I thought I had crazy hair………………..
June 10th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
>#2
>BlackBob Says:
>He’s more Scottish than most of the middle-class English protesters.
There might be middle class English Protestors but more of them oilies, support the scheme - or so Mr Trump keeps telling people.
June 10th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
- “He’s more Scottish than most of the middle-class English protesters.”
True.
June 10th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I wondered why there were so many of them down here
June 10th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Once you’ve left Scotland, you’ve left - there’s no homecoming. We treat you like deserters (except mostly you don’t get court-martialled and shot).
June 10th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
1
dairy
Well, I got it
June 10th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
hair today - gone tomorrow….
June 10th, 2008 at 11:46 am
The bald, speccy guy in the photo shouldn’t throw stones (glass houses etc,.)
June 10th, 2008 at 11:43 am
He’s more Scottish than most of the middle-class English protesters.
June 10th, 2008 at 11:07 am
what a load of hot air..! and why does he want to build it over here anyway - it’s not like they haven’t got room for that sort of thing over the pond…? still, if he plays his cards right (sorry), he might just get it…