Government Pays You In Vegetables To Give Up Smoking
THE Government has not only been watching your every more but it has been also listening to every thing you say.
And now the Government can unveil the new plan that you the people of Britain wanted above lower taxes, cheaper petrol and better transport: smokers in Dundee will be given £115 worth of groceries to give up the evil weed.
In readiness for new legislation that will make not eating five items of fruit and vegetables a week punishable by electric shock therapy and being made to sit though back-to-back episodes of That’s Life outtakes, participants in a 12-week scheme will be given £12.50 a week by NHS Tayside if a carbon monoxide breath test proves they have not been smoking.
And lest the people of Dundee be naughty, the money will be credited onto an electronic card which cannot be used for cigarettes or alcohol.
Just like in prison.
There are 36,000 smokers in Dundee, about half of whom live in poverty, says the BBC, and with any luck one of the last things they enjoy will be taken away from them and replaced by a steamed carrot enabling them to live longer in their impoverished lives…
Posted: 21st, June 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Labour Party, Politicians Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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June 23rd, 2008 at 1:05 am
why shouldn’t the people who want to smoke………..smoke I have been smoking for 40 years now and my health is excellent. Ihave never been off work due to a smoking complaint, i work PAY my TAX’S +++ + more on petrol Gas /Electricity the list is endless; So the goverment gets more than enough cash out of Meeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!
I would like all the Drinkers of Alcohol to be segregrated like us smokers!!!!!
At least we dont purposly make work every week for the LOCAL Hospitals like Alcoholics …….who fight ,urinate in the street accost you for cash and verbaly assault you, more if you dont get away from them (who sit around in Gangs) in public”where they are forbidden to be DRINKING in the public Highway or in the street is a brech of law ….but nothing is ever done !!!!!!!!!! leave us smokers alone and concentraite
on the people that do cause the trouble and YES WE THE WORKERS PAY FOR THIS TOO…we get hit all the time Get Them Working They Wont have enough time to drink and may help them clean there act up Let Them Start Putting Money Inthe Goverment POT!!!!!!!!!!
June 22nd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Can we smoke weed instead of tabacco?
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
A friend of mine, years ago was smoking while in the US and got the comment: “You smoke? Only poor people smoke!”. “You’re absolutely right”,she said …
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:14 am
36,000 smokers in poverty? No wonder given the price of cigarettes!
June 21st, 2008 at 11:14 pm
4 Noseycow
Does it help you make the Silk ‘Cut down’ in the operating theatre?
I understand the draw as I say.
June 21st, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Agendawide
i think that all nurses should be imperfect, helps them to undrestand what many of their patients are going through
that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it…
June 21st, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Anyone got a light boy?
(actually I gave up the evil weed in 1993, but have since cultivated many other antisocial bad habits, but none of them smelly)
June 21st, 2008 at 4:59 pm
1. Nosey - And you a nurse
but I understand the draw 
The ‘Pipers of Dundee’ will be taking up smoking so they can give up for these incentives
Does the Scottish Government think that instead of going out for a smoke the Dun’smokeydees will veg out to bagpipes for a change? It just might catch on
June 21st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Bloody hell
When will they realise that the more they tell us ‘nasty horrible selfish’ smokers that we should give up, the more we’re going to say F*** you!
I love National Non Smoking day - gives me an excuse it double my ciggy intake…