Boris Johnson’s Cigar Case Case

BORIS Johnson has Taria Aziz’s cigar case, or he did:

Would there be anyone so petty, so time-wastingly idiotic, as to complain? Alas, I forgot about the Labour Party. Five years after I found this memento, Labour stooges were recently combing my articles for anything discreditable to a Conservative mayoral candidate.

They found the article, and with bulging eyes they went to the Metropolitan Police and demanded that I be prosecuted. I am accused by my political opponents of removing a cultural artefact from Iraq. As it happens, I also have in my possession a letter from the lawyers of Tariq Aziz, informing me that Mr Aziz wishes me to regard the cigar case as a gift.

But never mind. The file has been opened at Scotland Yard; the proceedings have begun. The poor police have no choice but to investigate this ludicrous affair, and in the interim I am told I must hand the cigar case into police custody - or else be led in manacles from City Hall.

Is it the tobacco?

Anorak

Posted: 24th, June 2008 | In: Boris Watch, Broadsheets, Politicians, Twitterings Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink