Gardening Lobby Pursues Man Accused Of Shooting Mower
“ANYTHING not factory recommended would void the warranty,” says Dick Wagner, of Wagner’s Garden Mart in Milwaukee.
Mr Wagner is appraising the condition of a lawnmower belonging to one Keith Walendowski, a 56-year-old man from Wisconsin.
Mr Walendowski is believed to have become concerned when his mower did not start and attempted to bully it into action by shooting it with a sawn-off shotgun.
This would appear to be an illegal act and reports suggest he could, if convicted, face a fine of up to $11,000 and six-and-a-half years choky.
Is the gardening lobby so very unforgiving? Has anyone among even the most reactionary elements of the gardening community not become enraged by a malfunctioning mower, a pair of blunt shears or next door’s screaming child shattering the summer peace as he demands another lolly?
Ask yourselves this: with Walendowski inside, who will tend his garden?
Anorak advocates leniency, and suggests that rather then be jailed the accused should be turned upside down, attached to stick on wheels and encouraged to chatter his teeth and empathise with his mower…
Posted: 26th, July 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Police Log Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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July 26th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Who says there is no justice in this world?
Mind you, Archibald is definitely right for Emmerdale…
July 26th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Thanks chenier.
I had a look at Wikipedia. He must have written it himself:
“Patrick Mower is one of Britain’s most accomplished actors with an acting career that spans more than four decades.”
All that to end up as Rodney Blackstock in Emmerdale.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Cheer up, Desperate Dan.
His second name is apparently Archibald; what fate could be worse than that?
July 26th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I once had a problem with a Mower.
He started chasing after a bird I was going out with.
His name was Mower.
Patrick Mower.
Ever since I have called my lawnmower Patrick. I even kick it now and again…
July 26th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I have to admit I think he behaved well given the provocation, having to mow the lawn is bad enough, when the damn machine won’t work…well
July 26th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Blades. Whirring. Blades.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
There have been worse things done to inanimate objects than shooting them.
For some reason bicycles come to mind…