“HUMAN sewage used for cereals,” says the cover of your free Metro seat cleaner, the London free newspaper that covers your train seat OR bus seat better then any other free London newspaper.
Fact!
Says the news imprinted on your cricket whites:
Supermarket shoppers are unwittingly eating cereal products grown in Britain using human sewage. Sainsbury’s admitted last night that some of its crops use the fertiliser, which is cheaper than the animal-based variety.
The Metro is shocked and appalled. But each to his own, we say.
Who has not looked at a china bowl of All Bran, Shredded Wheat or Banana Nut Crunch and thought of a movement to the ceramic bowl?
Indeed, why not cut out the middle man and fill your cistern with soya milk?
It’s the taste of the future…
Posted: 28th, July 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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July 29th, 2008 at 10:24 am
The new Moon and Star Coco Pops are tagnuts gleaned from the loincloths of Sumo wrestlers
In a heat wave………
July 29th, 2008 at 6:46 am
PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Tell me that COCO-POPS have not been adulterated in this way! Especially the new Moons and Stars!
This is fucking terrible! I knew that prawns were raised on this though!
July 28th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Right - that’s lasagne off the menu for tomorrow’s tea then!
July 28th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I know an italian lady who was brought up on the flood plains of the Po valley (pun intended) in post war Italia. She said that they had a flag on a pole in the tomato fields and the villagers would go to the pole do what was needed and then move the pole on to the next tomato plant. All that was required to achieve privacy was to wave the flag if you heard someone coming. I think of this story whenever I open a tin of Italian plum tomatoes. I expect you will now
July 28th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
It’s no different to what you do in the bathroom where you all use sham poo.
Well, you wouldn’t use the real stuff. Would you?
As for Amy Winehouse, I am still convinced that she is Bob Dylan’s secret lovechild.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Crap is crap……….
why is the source an issue?
Because there’s likely to be more noxious stuff in the human variety perhaps?
Imagine fertilizer made from Amy Winehouses excrement…
Now that would be disgusting!
July 28th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
A bowl of corn fakes anyone?
July 28th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Just noticed, that it really is Mister Hankey, the Christmas Poo, on the Kellog’s box above! *lol*
July 28th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
….. this is one of those times where I say THANK YOU that I do not eat that crap in the mornings ….
July 28th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Golden nuggets
July 28th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Horse poo I can cope with - human poo,
it may not be logical but I’m grossed out.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
We use horse poo for the tomatoes….and magnesium too