Anorak

Anorak | Gob Stopped: The War On Food, Knives And Everything

Gob Stopped: The War On Food, Knives And Everything

by | 13th, August 2008

SAYS defence agent Matthew Nicholson at Edinburgh Sheriff Court, the sweet is “a substantial piece of confectionary”. It can be eaten.

Mr Nicholson is speaking on behalf of one Jamie Harvey, who is partial to giant gobstoppers.

For preservative reasons and in case he should become stranded and be threatened with starvation, Mr Harvey keeps a restorative gobstopper in a sock beneath his car seat.

Says Sheriff Kenneth McIver:

“You will be aware of the ongoing national debate on offensive weapons including knives. But all too often this court has to consider other improvised weapons like this.”

Mr Harvey is fiend £400, which can buy him an awful lot of gobstoppers or one huge gobstopper that may possibly pass for a small planet.

The case is closed.

But Anorak wonders if other jumbo-sized foods are now capable of inflicting damage, and if the war on food has been now joined by the war on knives to create a war on anything you may have on your person that cause offence?

Offensive item to consider are:

Jumbo hotdogs
Buckets of fried chicken
Stomach capable to squashing everyone in its path
Piercings
A sour expression
Chewing gum

And many more…



Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Reviews Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink