Comments on: Killer Caffeine Is Killing Our Kids

By: Andrew Brown

Andrew Brown — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:03:40 +0000

Er, no Drug Education UK isn’t the same as Narconon.

By: chenier

chenier — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:48:46 +0000

Oh yes!

I’m wondering when it will dawn on the Beeb that possibly all is not kosher in the research department…

By: dairy

dairy — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:40:12 +0000

…not the bloody Scientologists again…???

By: coco

coco — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 07:33:03 +0000

Please can we deliberately see some kids from certain areas being given extra coffee then?

Without National Service what is all this cannon-fodder going to do with itself????

By: chenier

chenier — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 20:27:55 +0000

Be that as it may, Drug Education UK is otherwise known as NARCONON® Drug Education, and is based on the inspiring scientific research of L Ron Hubbard.

Yes, really…

By: magnetite

magnetite — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 20:14:39 +0000

School nurses are a pale imitation of the real thing anyway. How is one supposed to develop an unhealthy adolescent attraction that leads to a long career of self-harm and Muchhausen’s by Proxy, when the woman who should be inspiring all of this is looking through your hair for nits?

By: chenier

chenier — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:33:13 +0000

AAAAAAAAArrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

I have enough problems with avatars without bringing Pictionary into it.

I probably need more caffeine…

By: magnetite

magnetite — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:28:47 +0000

Caffeine would be useless to our yoof anyway, turning an otherwise perfectly executed killing thrust into an unexpected game of Pictionary.

“Hey, blood. I know you meant to stab me in the heart, but your shaky hands just caused the blade to skitter of a rib and score my chest. Does that look like a duck to you? No? Maybe you have to be looking at it upside down.”

By: chenier

chenier — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:10:19 +0000

No; I’m with Anorak on this one.

How are nurses supposed to check for signs of incipient gangstadom if they are not caffeined up to the eyeballs?

By: magnetite

magnetite — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:00:22 +0000

Caffeine is the only way for our younglings to stem the wave of early onset Alzheimers caused by repeated exposure to The X-Factor, Last Choir Standing (which disappointingly turned out not to be some mass melodious brawling cross between Songs of Praise and The Running Man) and Britain’s Got Talent.

Yes, you can catch it through your eyes. You have been warned.

By: sammy J

sammy J — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:54:36 +0000

My three kids can’t function without a double espresso and a packet of pro plus every morning.
Do you think I should be worried?