Comments on: Large Hadron Collider: New Labour’s Theme Song To Armageddon

By: david

david — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:15:47 +0000

good by all, exept my thieving ex family

By: Sam

Sam — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 16:59:29 +0000

If it was really going to end the world, wouldn’t they stop the scientists before they make a black hole? Besides, we might actually discover something scientific! Like, dark matter. This could prove to be a really significant experiment!!

By: Roy Swain

Roy Swain — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:21:48 +0000

How about putting all the nuclear and chemical waste next to the Hadron, set a save point like in a computer programmes ,switch on -watch the waste disappear -switch off and restore the earth to where it was at the save point ?

By: firestar

firestar — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:06:59 +0000

i’m wondering if i can use it as an excuse to shag one of my work colleagues just before they press the button.

By: firestar

firestar — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:03:55 +0000

perhaps they’ll discover that a load of eggheads have had the e.c for several billion dollars.

after all if there turns out to be no need for Higgs Boson to dust off the old walther ppk and save the world because fuck all has happened, it’ll mean they spent all that money on making the ‘oh dear wrong again’ light come on.

on the other hand, if the four horsemen of the apocalypse come tear-arseing out of a hole in the space-time continuum it’ll be the most expensive horse-trampling since the dawn of time.

either way, you’re probably bettter putting your money into northern rock.

By: coco

coco — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:51:39 +0000

Errrrrrrr! Are we not jumping the gun a bit here?

There’s still a wall to be re-built by the errrrrrr …… Christians for the errrrrr - Jews yet isn’t there?

There is still much masonry to be piled up on top of errrrrr ……… masonry - or should that be errrrrr …… Masonry?! lol

By: chenier

chenier — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 23:36:23 +0000

I think discovering ‘absolutely nothing’ would guarantee a Nobel Prize; my only concern is that sooner or later we will all go to the Great Darwin Award in the Sky when someone pushes something which should have been pulled.

However, Anokra has appointed an on-the-spot (or at least, 22 kilometres from on-the-spot) reporter to keep us informed of what it feels like to disappear into a Black Hole, should a Black Hole appear.

He’s still looking for a religious correspondent in case the God particle turns up…

By: Jack McJiggins

Jack McJiggins — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 23:14:16 +0000

I think it was Professor Cox on BBC4 who said that he and the other scientists would find it fascinating if they *didn’t* discover the Higgs-Wotzit. They must be a hit at parties:

“So yeah, we did this fantastic experiment last week where we discovered **absolutely nothing**. The champagne certainly flowed that night I can tell you.”

By: chenier

chenier — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 22:32:23 +0000

Come, come; of course they’ll discover something!

Even if it’s only that £5 billion doesn’t go very far these days…

By: Jack McJiggins

Jack McJiggins — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 22:06:33 +0000

All the doomsday talk means that anything less than the end of the world will be a disappointment now. And what if they discover nothing at all with the LHC? They’ll have to say, “Well, at least we’re not New Labour.”

By: Mic

Mic — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:57:43 +0000

there’s plenty of suitable chewns….

“It’s the end of the world as we know it ” REM

“Armageddon days are here (again)” The The

anyway… armageddon outta here if these lousy puns continue.

By: robin

robin — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 20:53:10 +0000

A decade of New Labour has certainly prepared us well for global destruction; you can’t take away from them.

By: chenier

chenier — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 18:54:56 +0000

Come on, it’s clear as crystal…

By: Anorak

Anorak — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 18:19:02 +0000

Something by Ugly Rumous, like “Cherie’s a slapper” or “Tony does it for fags”

By: Jack McJiggins

Jack McJiggins — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 18:13:22 +0000

A better song to have would be “It’s Not The End Of The World” by Super Furry Animals. Plus a live rendition of Messiaen’s “Quartet For The End Of Time”, just in case.