Comments on: Gordon Smart’s Celebrity Pies

By: magnetite

magnetite — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:47:45 +0000

I have an obstinate streak in me when it comes to the pie. My stomach has passed the point at which I can eat scouring powder, drink vitriol and still come up smiling; but I refuse to listen to it. On the plus side, I need no pro-biotic assists to digestion - any harmful bacteria in my intestines have long since died from pastry-related ailments, or left me for safer climes.

By: chenier

chenier — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:31:54 +0000

So I see, were it not for the fact that I have just eaten an indisputably healthy teriyaki, with extra vegetables, I would be hotfooting it to Waitrose in search of something to burn my mouth on.

I shall have to go and rummage in the dreezer to find something to satisfy the unhealthy eating cravings unleashed by your posts…

By: magnetite

magnetite — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:22:29 +0000

That’s half the joy, chenier. A cold winter morning. That first bite, eating while hitching in open-mouthed, cooling breaths; hoping against hope that the tongue is not too burned to render it unable to fully enjoy the taste the rest of the crusted miracle. Then blowing into it, feeling the warm meaty returned exhalation - like a carnivorous angel’s breath, or a lover’s welcome touch on our cheek. As we progress through the pie - rotating it if we must, sometimes to the point of becoming masters of pastry prestidigitation in an effort not to soil our clothing - each bite is a delight tinged with sadness as our tasty, but finite resource is consumed.

God, I really love pies, me.

By: chenier

chenier — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:00:47 +0000

But pies suspend the laws of physics; one of our posters currently assisting the Turkish police with their enquiries has noted that the outside of the pie may be cold, but you still burn your mouth on the filling…

By: magnetite

magnetite — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:51:08 +0000

Pies truly are the food of the gods. A good pie, in portable hand-held form - with another three in the coat pockets, will tide a man over until he can get home to sit down to a bigger plate-based version. A skilled man can even manage a plate pie in one hand if the filling is sufficiently generous, and it is held in the palm with fingers splayed then attacked with gusto.

God, I love pies, me.

By: David

David — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 12:13:38 +0000

I miss my mothers steak and kidney pie, I really do.