Four Facts About Paul Gascoigne’s Drinking
“INFO maniac UK,” screams the Mirror. “Average Briton absorbs 13 new facts per day.”
But which facts? Luckily, Paul Gascoigne is here to help readers. Gazza is by the Metz public house, in Dunston, Gateshead.
DAILY MIRROR: “Desperate for a drink at 9.44am.” Fact!
THE SUN: “Desperate for a drink…” at 9.45am. Fact!
DAILY EXPRESS: “9.30am: Gazza tries to get a drink.” Fact!
DAILY STAR: “Gazza is desperately trying to get into a pub at 9am”. Fact!
Now for 11 more facts to complete the day’s quota… Who’s in the Spurs First XI tonight?
Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Wags & Players Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
Recent comments
- yampster on Fort Hood Shootings Latest News: US Soldier Nidal Hasan Shoots 13 Dead
- Cheryl on Fort Hood Shootings Latest News: US Soldier Nidal Hasan Shoots 13 Dead
- yampster on Britain’s Got Talent Hollie Steel Guns For X Factor’s John And Edward
- coolandcalm on Flexetarians Are Meat-Eating Vegetarians
- Peter Loxley on True Blood Porn, Oral Sex And Vampire Orgies, In Pictures
Regular Features
September 18th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Nice one diary. I’d sketch a bow in your direction, but I’m a bit unsteady on the old feet for some reason.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
…not after 6 pints without slurring….
September 18th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
You’d be surprised at how many people you actually do know (at work, at play, locally) who are alcoholics anyway. Can you say high-functioning, yet secretive?
September 18th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Was that with his cornflakes, or in his cornflakes Grande Finale? Enquiring minds want to know.
Typically the Department of Health hasn’t done it’s research properly. Either there are more than nine types, or we do not fit cleanly into these categories. Rather, even the gentle, sociable drinkers may step outside their comforatble pigeonhole from time to time.
Being the contrary f**k that I am, I am the type who is drinking himself into a coward’s grave because…
it’s so bloody hard to get good drugs these days
my wrists are too beautiful to mar with scars
all the bridges near me are so low as to be unsuitable for a terminal plunge
I think I’ve developed a preternatural tolerance to paracetamol
I’m terribly, terribly lazy
[Add that to the list DOH]
September 18th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I knew an “alchie” guy once, he had to have a couple of shorts in the lounge at early doors before he had the courage to go through and join his friends in the bar !
While his whole life and livelyhood was crashing around him.
Another used to drink lager with his cornflakes !
Must be a terrible position to be in, because most of the rest of us drinking socialy just think it’s a laugh but they, unable to help themselves, are laughing all the way to devastation.
September 18th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Where’s Jimmy Five Bellies when you need him? Still, at least he hasn’t started one of those home brew kits that’s just a sack with a tap that you hang on a door - then impatiently drink it after a mere nine days while it’s still greenish in colour. Now who’d be daft enough to do a thing like that? hic!
September 18th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
bit of an amateur, all round, though I agree he’s showing promise…
September 18th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
dedicated enough to go straight to the off license after not getting into the pub
September 18th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Obviously not dedicated enough to the craft; what sort of self respecting alkie forgets what time the pubs open?
September 18th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
he did - when he couldn’t get into the pub
September 18th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Whe doesn’t he just go to the off-license like the rest of us alkies?