Illegal For Men To Process and Distribute Sperm
YOU know what you’re doing. Cut it out. It’s illegal:
Since July 2007 it has been a criminal offence to “procure, test, process or distribute” any gametes (sperm and eggs) intended for human application without a licence from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority.
Can the Guardian be right? Is it illegal to process and distribute sperm? Do men need a licence..?
Posted: 23rd, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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September 23rd, 2008 at 6:29 pm
This is great legislation as it is refreshingly even handed.
Men can be prosecuted for ‘distribution’ and women for ‘procuring’ and ‘testing’.
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Chenier, Grande Finale…thank you both. Ah, practicality and wisdom. No matter how womanly I have to become - I’ll never have those two qualities.
(sideways smiley faces made from subtly applied make-up to you both)
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
brandon flours Says:
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:22 pm
LOL
Do you have to have a license for a turkey baster now then ?
*********************
I think the vice squad should be called to check out your kitchen………..and bathroom
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
June…..Magnetite……..Get yourself an ironing press……….sit down while pressing!
Much quicker much more efficient !
Whatever happened to stay pressed shirts………
Forget putting creasers in trousers just press with a pad inside the leg,just as good but no crease to worry about (I hate tramlines)
If you have to have creases do as they do in the army, rub a white candle down the inside of the crease before pressing makes creases much easier to iron next time !
Also hang shirts and trousers on hangers while still damp, gravity does most of the work
I make a great ironing SUPERVISOR LOL
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
And, whenever you get down in the dumps, you can remember that not only are you not a Romance Hero, and can therefore dispense with the daily wax and polish, but also you are not a woman, and therefore are not required to apply the facepaint unless you wish.
And please don’t tell me that make-up is a matter of choice; for all practical purposes it’s compulsory.
My bete noire is my best buddy who maintains that he likes me looking natural.
He is perfectly well aware that looking natural takes another half hour…
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:30 pm
ironing? No, it doesn’t have a lot to do with that June. Just the clown’s facepaint smearing slightly. It’s reapplied now.
Though, more on topic, if I hadn’t distributed my ‘product’ I wouldn’t have to iron skirts. I can manage quite well, and it’s quite relaxing, but no man should have to iron pleats - or use any heat setting below cotton for that matter…
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Do you have to have a license for a turkey baster now then ?
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Having spent the last 2 hours ironing, an’ ology’ would be nice, but what the f8ck it has to do with men and their sperm I dunno, can they bring in a law that men must not distribute shirts with such reckless abandon or process them either.
Forget the ology gonna have a nice piece of cake instead
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:04 pm
[magnetite does not wish, and did not wish, to offend anyone with a Sociology anything. To be honest, I don't what what qualifications you need to be a social worker other than a VW camper van and leather bloody patches on the elbows of your jacket. Oh yeah, and the inability to understand that two intelligent and capable 16-year olds who had, up until then, managed to care for their dying parents (separately of course - we weren't related to each other) were therefore entirely qualified to look after an 11-year old sister. Yep, that's right - I've disliked social workers for 23 years. We of course sent him away with his tail between his legs and did a bloody fine job of looking after each other...even if I do say so myself. To reiterate, apologies to anyone on Anorak with an -ology...I didn't mean you. it's just been a trying day]
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Sometimes I think it would be easier to just be a woman - instead of a mumdad. The social worker-type woman from little ‘un’s school just rang to ask why she wasn’t in today. I’d had a call from the Deputy Head earlier telling me that she was on report for bad behaviour - so I had to physically close my jaw and count to ten just to stop myself from shouting down the phone “Because she’s on a trip with your f**king school to the Yorkshire Dales National Park to look at f**king rocks all day, you idiot!”
Well, at least I’ll never be spotted on the roof of a building in a bloody Batman costume, ’cause I’ve got custody - and all it took was actually liking the woman who had my kids, so that we’d get on enough to sort things out outside of the courtroom. Now if only I can get the idiots with a Sociology degree of my back, I’ll be laughing…probably.
p.s. That Beefheart song wasn’t Man With A Woman’s Head was it? ‘Cause if it was…[futilely shakes fist at nothing in particular] I’m off to scour the medicine cabinet for painkillers. I feel one of my headaches coming on…I wish I was a romance hero - I’d at least have the luvverly locks.
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Magnetite
Just think how much worse your life would be if you had to have a daily wax and polish; when the clouds seem at their darkest, repeat to yourself:
I am not a Romance Hero!
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Sadly dairy, my hair has followed the Bruce Willis route over the years. From Moonlighting to Die Hard 4.0. I have eschewed wiggery, but what’s left needs no gel - organic or shop-bought…
[I've risen above the Rabelaisian, with both the story and the comments, thus far. I'm so proud of me. I'd pat myself on the back, but I wouldn't feel it - what with the hairy palms and all...oh, for f**ks sake!]
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
DIY hair gel perhaps, magnetite…?
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Damn!
We used to be able to make our own entertainment!
Now they’ve got us coming and going…
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Storage is still okay then? Phew!
[magnetite begins weeping softly into his cupped hands...then remembers his last - failed - relationship, and brightens considerably]
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I think we need to define “distribution” and quickly (preferably within 2 minutes….)