Armed Courses: Sending The Troops Into Britain’s Schools
THE Conservatives have unveiled their “Troops For Teachers” scheme. “SEND IN ARMY TO SORT OUT SCHOOLS,” says the Express on its cover.
The Sun says servicemen and women “would be paid to re-train as teachers on leaving the forces in a bid to boost tough inner-city schools.”
Yeah, nothing like a few trained killers in the tuck shop to teach those cocky kebab shop knifers what’s what.
But, of course, you can’t just send in troops wily-nilly, and we await proof from the Government’s new schools tsar Hans Blix that 4D has created a dirty bomb in chemistry class…
Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Conservatives, Politicians, Tabloids Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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September 29th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Another great idea; we now all wait for the inevitable suggestion that we should re-introduce conscription and turn our human capital from its ‘troubled asset’ status back into the gold standard True Brits who conquered the world.
Cue articles on the Rise of Fascism by the end of the week…
September 29th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
i tried to comment about this on sky earlier, but the words ‘ipod’, ‘tears’ and ‘nasty iranians’ seem to have some sort of ban on.
as if there aren’t enough psychos in our schools, without sending shell-shocked sand-addled post -traumatic stress victims with access to rocket launchers into the schools.
didn’t go down well with the military when i suggested they should be on some sort of ‘register’ where you could ring up and check to see if your kids’ teacher had ‘any previous form for getting involved in stress-causing battle incidents’ either.
apparently, they all know they’re ok because they regularly see psychiatrists.
it’s just that i’d prefer teachers who didn’t.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Yes sah!
September 29th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Yep Percy…the kids could start with teaching them basic addition and subtraction, it might teach them something about cash flow issues.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Save the troops from this service…they have suffered enough casualties for their country.
I suggest we send in the Bankers to work with inner city youth and teach those thieving little gits how to become uselful members of society. ….the kids teach the Bankers that is.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Bravo 2B Zero.
An astonishing account of a raid behind the Bike Sheds.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
They’ll have to persuade da kidz to even want to turn up at school first. Perhaps daily machine-gun practice would increase attendence.
“Now these babies tend to heat up, so shoot in 3 second bursts. In the event of capture I will personally distribute these cyanide capsules to be placed under the tongue like so.”