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Anorak | Red Tuesday: Banks Fall, The Experts’ Top Tips And Spending Is The New Saving

Red Tuesday: Banks Fall, The Experts’ Top Tips And Spending Is The New Saving

by | 30th, September 2008

MORE news that no-one knows what’s going on in the money markets as the Sun screams: “BLACKEST DAY”. Or as the Mirror puts it: “BLACKEST MONDAY.”

Black Monday is the name given to Monday, October 19, 1987, when stock markets around the world crashed. Should not yesterday be “Blacker Monday”?

Readers may be confused. To be in the black means to be free of debt; it is in the red that suggests debt and poverty. The Sun’s headline should read: “REDDEST DAY.”

Happily for Daily Express and Daiuly Mail readers, it’s all a “MELTDOWN”.

Elsewhere on the Sun’s front page, readers learn that the US Treasury rejected a $400billion plan to bail out the financial system.

The failure of US lawmakers to gather enough votes to pass the $700bn rescue of the US financial system is big news, and triggered a 777 points drop on the Dow Jones index.

But on the currency markets, confidence in the dollar is higher than it is in sterling. Yesterday, by mid-afternoon in New York, the dollar was up 1.6 per cent to $1.8145 against the pound. That £400bn rescue package is getting more expensive all the time, at least if it’s funded in pounds it is. Althogh the optimistic Telegraph says it works out at £380bn.

Of all the papers, it’s the Daily Star alone that gets it right: “US SNUBS £388bn BAIL-OUT.”  

What The Experts Say

But at least the experts can agree on the course of action:

INDEPENDENT (front page): “SELL! SELL! SELL!”

JOHN HUSBAND (Daily Mirror): “Be smart and buy shares”

VANESSA FELTZ (Express): “Credit crunch was a convenient, snappy and alliterative phrase that… soothed us… Unfortunately euphemisms only do the job until they are exposed.”

Feltz prefers the words “recession”, even if it isn’t.

It is a credit crunch – it is a credit crisis because banks will not lend to other banks, or are very cautious about doing so.

“It is misleading, unhelpful and will start to seem a downright insult to those struggling to stay afloat.”

Yeah, let‘s stick to the facts, Vanessa, we owe it to the readers who need to know why they can’t sell their home.

Buying Is The New Saving

On a brighter note, we – taxpayers that is – have just bought a concrete carbuncle in Bingley (surely ‘a fine example of brutalist architecture?’ – Ed) and a shiny office block in Bradford. Both buildings already have tenants.

We are now experts in the mortgage game, thanks to our investment in Northern Rock.

And because we are all so financially savvy, the future bodes well, does it not.

So save, save, save, as the Government’s new mantra goes.

Save Northern Rock… Save Bradford… Save Bingley… And spend our money…

Image: Hack



Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids Comments (24) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink